Happy Campers
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
5d ago
You know how most parents become more relaxed with their second child? Well, not all of them. It was last summer and we had agreed to watch 3-year-old Holland and 5-month-old Noah at our house for the weekend.  “That’s a lot of stuff,” I said, as my daughter, Quincey and her husband, Colby, opened the back hatch of their minivan. Diaper bags, strollers, and a slew of other baby-related items tumbled onto the driveway. “It’s mostly Noah’s stuff,” Quincey said. “She needs a few things to help her sleep.” “But I thought you said she sleeps through the night now,” I said. “Oh, she does,” Quin ..read more
Visit website
Are You Smarter Than a Kindergartener?
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
1M ago
When our kids were younger we used to have “Family Game Nights.” Also known as “Family Trauma Nights.” Thanks to a game called, “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”  “How can you NOT remember that North America is a continent?” I asked my 8th-grade daughter, trying not to explode. “It’s the one we live on!” And it wasn’t just geography.  Her lack of knowledge knew no boundaries. Fortunately, she made it through school and now has a successful career. As for me, I recently went back to work as a Kindergarten aide. I enjoy working with kids, and kindergarten seemed like a low-pressure ..read more
Visit website
Freaky Friday
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
2M ago
Do you remember the movie, Freaky Friday? That’s my life now. Except, instead of Steve and I switching bodies, we’ve switched lives. There was no earthquake that caused this or fortune cookie that reversed it, but trust me it happened. Steve retired this past year and now I’m the working stiff. “What are you up to today?” I asked him Monday morning. “Biking in Ventura,” he said, slathering on some sunscreen. I sighed. “That sounds like fun. I wish I was- -” “Off to work you go,” Steve said, shooing me out the door. When I returned from work, I discovered that not only did Steve and his buddies ..read more
Visit website
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
3M ago
“I have so many ideas,” my sister-in-law, Catherine gushed, when I told her I would be making holiday plants for my daughter’s Christmas market. “Like gluing succulents to driftwood…” “Uh, huh,” I muttered. “Or you can put the succulents in antique Christmas cups,” she added. Unfortunately, I was plum out of antique Christmas cups. And driftwood. I asked for some other suggestions. “Well, you could just take a simple pot…” My ears perked up.  Me liked the sound of simple. “…and wrap it in burlap, which will give it a vintage look. Burlap is SO IN right now!” “You promise it’s not hard?”&n ..read more
Visit website
Hasta La Vista, Sunglasses!
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
5M ago
I go through sunglasses at an alarming rate, which is why I try to keep three pairs on hand at all times: a regular pair, a spare pair, and a desperation pair. My desperation pair usually has parts missing, but it gets the job done. Unfortunately, sometimes all three pairs go MIA, and that’s when I hit up my husband, Steve. “You’re not going to lose them?” He asked. “Of course not,” I said. “I’m going to need another pair,” I told Steve, a week later.  “What happened to the pair I just loaned you?” He asked. If I knew, they’d be on my face. That guy asks the silliest questions. Steve hand ..read more
Visit website
Trouble in Paradise
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
6M ago
In 2018, Steve and I went on vacation to Kauai with our daughter, Parker and her friend, Cass. On our last night, we enjoyed dinner on a rooftop bar, overlooking the ocean. The four of us talked about the hiking and snorkeling we had enjoyed that week. At some point, the conversation turned to marriage, and Cass asked us how long we had been married. Steve told her we’ve been married for almost 30 years. “Wow, that’s a long time to be married,” Cass commented. I rested my head on Steve’s shoulder, as I took in the sun setting in the blue, sparkling waters. I smiled, waiting for the inevitable ..read more
Visit website
Pillow Talk
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
6M ago
My husband, Steve, and I have 11 pillows on our bed right now. Once upon a time, we had two pillows. This is my pillow. That is your pillow. Good night. Those were simpler times. Over time, the pillows multiplied. Two turned into four, and four into eight, and so on. It was like Noah’s Ark, with fertile pillows. At one point I thought maybe I should thin the pillow herd, but thank goodness I didn’t. I have since discovered that I require no less than 9 pillows for a good night’s sleep. Obviously, I need one pillow on which to rest my weary head.  This is my “Weary Head Pillow.” Except sin ..read more
Visit website
A Chip Off the Old Block
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
7M ago
If you read my recent story about my mom, Nina (read: https://midlifebloomer.com/bong-boy/), you’d know that she is living her best life as a one-woman neighborhood watch. Nina continues to keep tabs on BongBoy as she peers at him through the front shutters. He is usually parked right across the street so they see each other quite a bit. It’s an unconventional relationship, but it seems to be working. But enough about Nina and that smoky hooligan. Let’s talk about my dad, Alvin. Alvin is having a great time inventing front yard games, which I learned about last week.  Steve and I were han ..read more
Visit website
Shiny Happy People
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
9M ago
I live in California. California is full of sunshine and beautiful beaches. What it’s not full of is friendly people. Whenever I go for a run I say hello to my fellow runners. What I get in return is silence. Okay, this is the part where you say hi back. Or hello. I’d love a howdy. (But, hey, this isn’t Texas.) How about a wave. It doesn’t have to be a full wave, just one finger. Not that finger. California, why so grumpy?   This past June, I visited Arizona. I went for a run, which turned out to be a walk because it was summer. In Arizona. Yes, I know…  it’s a DRY heat. Regardl ..read more
Visit website
MY FRIEND
Midlife Bloomer
by January Gordon
9M ago
In the past year, I’ve noticed a trend with a certain greeting. At first I thought the greeting was harmless, even pleasant.  But now I know better, and I’m here to tell you that strangers who call you MY FRIEND are anything but. I’m not saying they’re diabolical, but trust me, they’re about to take you for a ride! The first time this happened was in an email.  “MY FRIEND!” The email stated, “We need your help!” Oh, no, a friend is in trouble! “We’re only $50,000 short of meeting our goal! MY FRIEND, please send money today!” Delete. The second time I heard this phrase was from Sheil ..read more
Visit website

Follow Midlife Bloomer on FeedSpot

Continue with Google
Continue with Apple
OR