Peanuts
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
Over three decades ago I heard a story about how to catch a monkey in the jungle. You get a gourd, cut a hole in it the size of a monkey’s fist, fill it with peanuts and then tie it to a tree. The monkey reaches in, gets his fistful of peanuts and then can’t get his fist out. The monkey will twist and yank and squeal because he is trapped. He tries everything except he will never let go of the peanuts and set himself free! This story came to my mind decades later during my morning prayer hour the other day. I was asking God to set me free from some burdens. Isn’t that interesting! I think it w ..read more
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Precious Child of God
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
Well, here are more of my thoughts about being a precious child of God from the last Post. But, this Post is about this precious child’s Heavenly Father. During times of change and uncertainty I need to experience God the Father who is in complete control of everything because he created it—not me—and know what is best for me and everyone else. When I look back at my Toolkit under “Bible“, I see the “Father’s Love Letter” which is a long list of Bible verses about God’s love. Be sure to check out how He signs it–and see which verses help you the most. Also check out Fathersloveletter.com for m ..read more
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Rest in Jesus
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
Hello! I’m back again. I’ve had a few health issues lately (fortunately not the Corona Virus). No matter how hard I tried I just could not write!  So, I decide to follow God’s advice in Matthew 11:28-30. Jesus said,” come to me all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest…learn from me for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest.” He mentions “rest” twice! It is hard for me to rest because I never quite get enough done or meet my goals. I think many people like me who deal with depression are their own worst enemies, expecting more of themselves than they wou ..read more
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Trust Part 6–Why Spread God’s Love
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
Here I am fulfilling my promise from last post to reveal why spreading God’s love, joy and peace makes one feel better. It was my Pastor’s homily just a few days later. He said that when you spread God’s love to another, this love rubs off on you. The more you spread God’s love to others the more God gives His love to you also. Sort of like a thank you from God. The more you give the more you get. Therefore, along with the prayer, “God what am I going to do about this depression and despair?” and ”God what do you want me to do to spread your love to others”, My pastor added that spreading love ..read more
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Trust Part 5–Seeing God’s Plan
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
In a previous post (Trust Part 3 “Spreading God’s Word” which I recommend you read), I talked about being in a desolation (along with a bit of self-pity) because my chronic illness symptoms were worse than usual. When I figured out it was just one of life’s desolations, I realized it was time to pray for help and to listen for direction from God. What I heard in my heart was, “You are not the only one hurting! Everyone hurts and feels bad at times. Go and spread My love to other people and then you will feel better!” Trust Part 3 also tells you how God led me to spread His love through a simpl ..read more
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Trust Part 3–Spreading God’s love
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
This is a continuation of Trust Part 3 where I said I would tell you more about the story that would make you smile. So, you gotta read Part 3 first. It’s not long! The next day Blaise’s mother called and enthusiastically said, “I just had to call you to tell you what you did for our family! You changed the whole mood of this household!” I could not quite figure out how I could have done that more than 1000 miles away. I’d forgotten about the phone message I had left the day before. Apparently, Blaise came home from Catholic School saying that no one, not one person, acknowledged his feast day ..read more
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Trust Part 3
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
In the last post, Trust Part 2, I mentioned that journaling helps me see my thoughts and feelings in the light of God’s love for me especially when I combine them with scripture meditation. It helps me see the pattern of life’s ups and downs. The downs really don’t last forever! Most importantly, journaling helps me see the consolations God sends to sustain me during life’s inevitable hard times, like the bird bath story in the Trust Part 1 post. Yesterday my health issues had me felling even more sick and more fatigued than usual. It was getting me down. Grumble, Grumble, Boo-Hoo, Poor me. Ho ..read more
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Trust Part 2–Using the Toolkit
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
So many times, when I think I’ve got it all figured out and I’ll have smooth sailing from now on. Then BAM along comes a trigger or “something” and my emotions start to go south, and desolation starts rolling in. Somehow, I am always surprised. Time to check out the old Toolkit again! Often, I start with the Bible references about Trust. You can’t trust someone you don’t know. I like “O Lord my God, I cred out to you and you healed me (Psalm 30:2) Just like my Rock Porch Story.Those who trust in the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall fly as with eagles’ wings. Run and not grow weary ..read more
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Trust Part 1–Consolations and Desolations
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
In previous posts I’ve talked about looking for consolations (happy, up, pleasant times) in the midst of desolations (down, sad, low times). Today I’ve had a number of happenings that have left me feeling alone and inadequate. So back to the Toolkit under Other Coping Mechanisms. Exercise, nature, hobbies and prayer. I decided it was way past time for a walk! As I was walking around the garden, I decided to put the cement bird bath away for the year. When I tipped it over to empty it and clean out the debris, I noticed some writing on the inside that I never noticed before. (We’ve had this bir ..read more
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Flashbacks–Part 2
Suicide–How Not To. God and I are Winning the Battle!
by suicidehownotto
4y ago
The good thing about flashbacks of past hurts for me is that it’s an opportunity for God to rewrite the script of how I perceive myself. First, I use my feelings list to identify my “uncomfortable” feelings. Then, I identify the “comfortable” feelings that I have had in the past and can have again to counteract the flashbacks. One day I took a tally and found out during a flashback I had 27 “uncomfortable” feelings. I identified 37 “comfortable” feelings that were characteristic of my “good days.” Quite amazing! But my feelings do not define who and what I am! When I’m doing this, I like to po ..read more
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