New Security Protocols for the Manor
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by emmadenner
4y ago
Ugh. Hey guys, sorry I’ve been so absent lately. It’s been an absolutely exhausting last few weeks here at the Manor, and my attentions have been diverted to matters of the utmost importance: NappingPester about walksProtect our most precious possessionsI’ve had to change a few of the current operations around here, because, I’m afraid to say, there is a new threat that my now former Security Protocols were ill-equipped to handle. Y’all heard of the Coronavirus? This is a new one for me, because up until now I had been under the impression that Coronas sat in Dad’s fridge in glass bot ..read more
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Road Trips and Boxed Dads
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by emmadenner
4y ago
Hey Guys. Mom and Dad went going somewhere named Cruise. I don’t know what this is, but apparently I was NOT invited. While this was definitely a jerk move on their part, it’s not the point of my post. Cruise was merely the catalyst to some very interesting developments to my life recently. Basically I was given another Manor to control and Dad is stuck at Cruise, which is absolutely his fault, but my still responsibility. I mean how else is he going to get out? And while I’m definitely a force to be reckoned with, I haven’t tested how far my reach stretches. Does my authority extend to Cr ..read more
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Christmas Eve Horror, Part 2
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by emmadenner
4y ago
When I left off, I was bracing myself, prepared for attack! Come at me Bro! But no. Out came….PRESENTS??? One after another, beautiful and bright, Red Suit Guy set one gift after another under the tree with the lights (so that explains that I guess – they are, in fact, there to ensure proper visibility). The EvidenceI kept waiting for the best time to launch my attack, but there were never any mutants. I was so confused, so like a fool, I didn’t move. Confusion is a strategy, one I’ve often employed myself. It’s weird when your primary method of warfare is used against you ..read more
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New Year’s Resolutions
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by emmadenner
4y ago
Every year I hear something about people doing “resolutions”. Apparently you sucked at something last year, and you’re determined to NOT suck at that thing again this year. Apparently the year ends in February, because that’s around the time Mom starts sucking at that same stuff again. So I figure I can resolve to stop sucking at stuff too. I mean I don’t suck at a whole lot (let’s be honest) but there are always opportunities for self-improvement. So here, in no particular order, are my New Year’s Resolutions: 1. Eat more Tater Tots. Obvs. I will encourage my parents to take daily ..read more
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A Horrifying Development in the Mutants-Eating-My-Parents Saga: A Tiny Henchman Appears
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by emmadenner
4y ago
YOU GUYS. The mutants haven’t shown up yet. I’ve been expecting them any day now, carefully patrolling the fireplace near the Very Large Socks for the one-footed freaks. My searches continue to prove fruitless. Not a trace so far, although the sacrifices have started to appear inside their socks. That was to be expected, my only uncertainty was on the timeline. My sock has gifts in there too, which terrifies me, but also encourages me that Mom and Dad do love me and are trying to save my life. Even though the Mutants have chosen not to show their faces, I can, however, report a n ..read more
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I Think Mutants Are Going To Eat My Parents
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by emmadenner
4y ago
A curious process begins in the Manor at the start of the 12th Month, and I’m having trouble deciding if this is for fun, or if my parents are trying to avoid getting eaten by performing a series of bizarre rituals around the house. My thinking face. Shoutout to the carpet cleaner behind me from my, ahem, ACCIDENT earlierFor instance, apparently when it gets cold and dark early, you have to supplement the lighting inside of your home with millions of twinkly little lights. Most of these lights take residence in a tree that I suspect is not really a tree, as it comes out of a brown box comp ..read more
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Sadie Mae’s Thanksgiving Top Ten Lists
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by emmadenner
4y ago
I mean I understand wanting to eat turkey, but I’m surprised by the shocking lack of tater tots surrounding the Thanksgiving meal. I gotta be honest, guys. I’m not thankful for this.I have noticed Clouds of Floof abundantly displayed on top of pie, so there’s that. AnyWho, here, in no particular order, is my list of Top 10 Things I’m Thankful For. 1. Sonic. This should surprise absolutely no one. 2. My job as head of security of Denner Manor. Thanks to my unique set of skills and quick thinking, I have saved Mom and Dad’s lives approximately 1,639 times and prevented 72 break-ins ..read more
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I’ve Identified the Next Threat to the Manor
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by emmadenner
4y ago
I swear I wear so many hats at my house. The one that I take the most pride in is Head of Security. I love my Mom and Dad but I swear sometimes they are dumb as bricks when it comes to all the threats out there. MRW they ignore my security protocolsLike last night. Dad hurt his foot so had to sleep on the couch (side note I’m also the family physician – I licked the bruise on his foot and he should be better any day now). take two kisses and call me in the morningI arranged for Mom to sleep in the living room as well, so I can monitor their vital signs while they sleep. I also patrol ..read more
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Sadie Mae Food Review: Starbucks Puppuccino, a Magical Cloud of Floof in a Cup
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by emmadenner
4y ago
YOU GUYS. You know how I feel about Sonic, right? If not, I just don’t understand you. Please refer here. Well, Mom apparently feels that way about this other place – it’s called Starbucks. (Dad calls it Fourbucks and cackles like he’s really funny. Spoiler Alert: he’s not.) Please see below for my impression of Mom before her Starbucks visit: my impression of Mom before coffee need intravenous coffee pls I’ve never given Starbucks much thought, because why worry about Starbucks when you can just go to Sonic? However, it would seem that Starbucks holds the same magical appeal for M ..read more
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Drone Pilot Dog
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by emmadenner
4y ago
Seriously those drones are such a pain to steer. 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us Share Share Share Share Share The post Drone Pilot Dog appeared first on Look at my dog. LOOK AT HER ..read more
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