Saudi defense contracts marked ‘safe’ following Pensacola attack
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by Leg Ranger
4y ago
WASHINGTON — Hundreds of billions of dollars in military hardware deals narrowly escaped harm after a Saudi gunman opened fire on military personnel in Pensacola. earlier this month “Understanding many Americans are rightfully concerned over the health and wellbeing of our foreign military sales relationship with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, I am pleased to ..read more
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The six guys who hit on your wife at every Marine Corps Birthday Ball
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by 29ReasonsWhy
4y ago
We’ve all heard the saying “Trust a Marine with your life, not your wife.” Those words ring truest on November 10, when Marines gather to celebrate their branch’s birthday and its core values of alcoholism, debauchery, and adultery. So dust off your dress blues and get ready for some mando-fun, because we have with the ..read more
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Marine crayon eating competition goes horribly wrong
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by As For Class
4y ago
CHERRY POINT, N.C. — Catastrophe has consumed Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point after a Marine died of crayon consumption, what sources call “one of the top three worst case scenarios for Marines.” Now investigators are trying to determine how this could have happened. An inquiry into the command climate concerning crayon consumption is currently ..read more
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Leadership class changes everyone’s lives after one guy just keeps talking
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by Slab Squatthrust
4y ago
YORKTOWN, Va.— In an amazing display of brilliance, a leadership training course held at the Coast Guard Yorktown Training Base on Monday went over time when one super smart and articulate man rose his hand to explain the importance of being a brave leader in the military as everyone in the class watched in awe ..read more
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Breastfeeding infant court-martialed for putting his SIPR on the NIPR
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by Jake Slager
4y ago
QUANTICO, Va. — After severely mishandling of extremely sensitive physical matter, 9-month-old Tyler Stevenson will be tried before a court martial convened by the Marine Corps’ top brass. Stevenson, also known to his innermost circle by aliases “honey bunny” and “snookykins,” is accused of placing his SIPR directly onto the NIPR, causing a major leakage ..read more
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General not allowed to take emotional support mistress on deployment
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by Whiskey Fueled Tirade
4y ago
JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO, Texas – A heartbreaking scene unfolded today at an Air Mobility Command terminal when staff told a general he would not be able to deploy with his emotional support mistress. As the general waited to board a plane with the young captain sitting on his lap, an airman working at the ..read more
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Inexplicable: Marine shaved every day but still violated Geneva Convention
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by Cat Astronaut
4y ago
BAHRAIN — In an attack that has his entire chain of command scratching its heads, Marine Sgt. Cliff Smith committed a heinous war crime despite the fact that he shaved everyday. “I just don’t get it,” said his battalion Sgt. Maj. Mike Hofstra. “Sgt. Smith always has the cleanest shave and most finely pressed uniforms, yet ..read more
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‘Once a Marine, always a Marine’—Duffel Blog presents 21 job titles for former jarheads
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by The Shammer
4y ago
Everyone who has earned the Eagle, Global, and Anchor knows that being a Marine isn’t something you do – it’s something you become. No matter how long you stay in the service or what occupation you pursue afterward, you will always be a Devil Dog first. As such, our staff has compiled a list of ..read more
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Texas A&M Corps of Cadets found guilty of 143 years of stolen valor
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by BYOBooyah
4y ago
COLLEGE STATION, Texas – The student body of Texas A&M University was rocked today by news that their Corps of Cadets is guilty of stolen valor and has been for 143 years. Authorities reached a guilty verdict after discovering that despite wearing uniforms in public, displaying military medals, and being big time hardos, less than ..read more
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Grown man yells at other grown man for not wearing a hat outside
Duffel Blog » Marine Corps
by 29ReasonsWhy
4y ago
TWENTYNINE PALMS, Calif. — Multiple eyewitnesses have reported that Sgt. Maj. Shawn DeWitt, a divorced 37 year-old with two children, grew visibly upset at the sight of another adult male without a hat on earlier this morning. The Marine on the receiving end of the sergeant major’s wrath was Cpl. Daniel Vincent. Vincent, whose job ..read more
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