I was in church the other day, during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, I had a rush of grief. It didn’t feel like self-pity or situational. It felt sort of–sacred–for lack of a better term. Like sorrow for sin and suffering for those who cannot pray for themselves, and the struggles of so many. I was flooded with so much grief, and at the same time wrestling with trying not to make a scene. Integrating I work at an integrative Clinic where my job as a “prayer partner” is in the mental health wing. We are working together to lead people to Christ for healing, mind and spirit, and of course growi ..read more

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wallHumpty Dumpty had a great fallAll the king's horses and all the king's menCouldn't put Humpty together again I had a friend mention that she was feeling like Humpty Dumpty lately. Fallen off the wall (presumably the one that feels steady and foundational) and feeling broken, cracked and injured and without hope. I think a lot of us feel this way lately, some not sure why and others may know why, what or who to blame. Either way, we can recognize these feelings and examine them in the light of the Holy Spirit. (Come Holy Spirit!) One mistake we can all make is plac ..read more

St Philip Sanctuary “May the working of your mercy, O Lord, we pray, direct our hearts aright, for without your grace we cannot find favor in your sight.” (Collect for Mass, Saturday March 16, 2024) Discernment During Prayer; a side note I am going to do something a little different in this post. My normal method of “bible study” is to take the readings from the daily (not Sunday) mass (all of them including the collect which calls us all together, and the gospel acclamation, which preps our hearts for the gospel reading) and write down what pops out to me from each part. Then I string th ..read more

I recently went to Atlanta with my daughter who was hired for a film project that did not go according to plan. We were heading home after several rainy days in a hotel waiting on news of where and when we needed to be on set which changed constantly. We were happy to be heading home but it had been a long, rainy, trying week on many levels.  As she slept in the passenger seat, I carelessly took a deep dive into my frustrations, to the tune of “why why why…”, my usual go-to whiney session. It plays in my head something like this: Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can’t people ..read more

Less than a year ago we were in a state of loss and tragedy. There was a great deal of darkness in our lives on many levels. We are still grieving the losses but light has finally entered in and the hope we desperately clung to has bloomed into a beautiful bouquet. Don’t get me wrong, we still have crosses and losses but I want to tell anyone who is reading this and needs a tiny seed of hope that it will not fail you if you hang on and trust in God. He is faithful. I know this from my relationship with Him. He is a kind and gentle Father. He cares for His and He created all of us out of love ..read more

I was reading the story of Samuel and Hannah in today’s readings (1 Samuel 1:24-28 and 1 Sam 2:1-8 as our Psalm) and thinking about Hannah. She waited her whole life for a baby and was told she never would have one. God gave her one despite the non-believers that surrounded her. Once she has her miracle child, Samuel, we watch to see how she reacts. What was her first response? To dedicate and give him right back to God, to the extent of leaving Samuel with Eli in the temple. I was then praying with Mary, Our Blessed Mother and reading the Magnificat in the gospel for today, Luke 1:46-56. We d ..read more

I stopped by church the other day to sit with Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration. There was a special handout for the first week of Advent, “Advent Week 1 Meditation.” The reader was guided along an Ignatian-type meditation with a line of scripture. I spent most of my hour on this one line: The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. Isaiah 9:1 There is a danger for some of us in prayer to cross the line from prayer to intellectual contemplation, especially if you are a writer or lover of words and language like me. The intellect is an important part of the human person and so has a ..read more

Beat steady O heart Choose to go more Choose to be twice what you were before Choose to forgive Choose to be love Let emptiness only be filled from Above; Evict leeching tenants of vice and of grief Into watercolors and words of hope, trust and belief… Let the winds whip at my chapped grip to the cross I kiss his feet, and remember his loss. From midnight to dawn he raises me still Choose to be love: it’s an act of the Will. -MBN 22 ..read more

Thanks to Lois Kerschen who asked me to guest blog for her on Patheos! Saint Anne, Pray for us. Drawn by Meg Naumovski while meditating on whether or not St Ann ever met the infant Jesus St. Anne specializes in bringing the right people together as friends or spouses. She also understands the heartache of barreness and the joy of a child. — Read on www.patheos.com/blogs/musingsfromthepew/2022/07/asking-for-help-from-a-mother-who-knows ..read more

Hearts Sacred & Immaculate; Thinning the Veil Recently, the Church celebrated the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which (like Mary always does) follows her Son, who’s Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. These two days are so very meaningful to many Catholics and I would encourage anyone to spend some time reading about how they came to be, and adding them to your prayer time as a means by which to grow in love. For example, I was praying the Our Father the other day with this “lens”, asking The Sacred Heart of Christ to help me pray, and it was a beautiful and deepening result. I ha ..read more