every time i get the urge to write, it ends up being more things that i wish i could say to you. it feels like of late, all of the prompts i keep receiving are related to you. maybe it simply is me that connects those dots but this season, much more than ever, i feel like the tides are trying so desperately to pull me away from you and truth be told, i am so tired now—i think i will finally let them. the funny thing is that i was so sure it was all said and done. i did not think i had anything still left to give. not to say, not to do, not to want, not to feel. the other night when i had con ..read more

had myself a wee treat this evening! truck and i split this half-dozen platter between us and whilst i was so gleeful to be having oysters again, they were a bit petite and i found myself wishing for that hit of tabasco. it is funny to remember now that there had been a time in my life when i simply could not, for the life of me, stomach raw oysters. it was always the overall texture and overpowering smell and taste of iron that made me constantly gag. but now, whenever it is on the menu, i simply have to have it and it is usually the full dozen that i go for(!) i think i would actually reall ..read more

i am SO AGITATED at this moment—i am seriously just considering moving my entire site hosting some place else ..read more

so it is looking like this just might be the season of false starts. on my most recent weight loss endeavour: clearly, it was a fail. surprise, surprise. however, i fully intend to re-attempt starting tomorrow(!) come on, take two! on my current reality-as-i-know-it: also, a big, fat fail. speaking of all things Not As Advertised—this (along with fuckboys) takes top spot, no contest. four days into the last quarter of 2021, i will be very honest and confess that i am not harbouring any high hopes whatsoever; in fact, i am holding, holding, holding my breath that i have completely exhausted ..read more

i am insanely knackered but so, so, so, SO PROUD of myself for having finally completed my confined water portion of my open water certification. now, i am just one (last) stage away from obtaining my scuba diving license—i am beyond thrilled!!! i really, really wish that i had bought my gopro before today so that i would have been able to document the whole experience from start to end but i guess my memories will have to do (sadly). it was honestly boatloads of fun and the very pleasant surprise for me was being in a group consisting of mostly females. very empowering! just going to make t ..read more

i was really quite certain i was done with the night shift life but suddenly, here i find myself again. glued to this desk chair for the next two-ish hours or so needing a break from the mundanity of sifting through a stuffed up inbox that has been obviously neglected for months on end. thankfully, though, there is plays.org! believe it or not, i had chanced upon the site when i had been hit by a random pang of nostalgia one night for pinball games. i used to love pinball machines with all their lights and sounds and sudden random tilts and remember how it was such a challenge to keep ..read more

in the quiet, i think of him. and i find myself wishing every time that i could go back and do it all differently. the first full day we had gone without communicating should have been the last day—i accept that i fully fucked up. in spite of that, i feel that i am doing well to console myself. i suppose this was the only way i could be tested and well, the truth is, i flunked. miserably. i realise that now. so, it was that i needed more time to work on myself. to thoroughly strengthen my willpower and to wholly embrace and practise self-assertion. there can only be so many times where i say ..read more

this morning, i am making this vow to myself: i will always remember to do all of the things that never fail to make me giddy like a schoolgirl and grin like a maniac. i want to have high tea in all of the realms and in every last recess where high tea is served, i want to make it a point to pay a visit to every catholic church possible and personally say hello to Mother Mary in all of her grottos. i want to make trips to the zoo, to the aviary, to the aquarium and hopefully, before my time in this great, big world is done, i will have experienced every last disney attraction known to mankind ..read more

cupid and i happened to be texting yesterday and it hit us that we have actually stayed friends for over half a decade now! talk about amazing. to think, it was blogging that had been the thing to bring us together. it made me remember why it is i have so much love for this writing-things-into-the-void-that-is-the-world-wide-web. 21 years later, your girl is still here. i know that for a time, it had been some inescapable (pointless) trend but the reason i love blogs is because it is a firsthand account of a person's life and bloggers who live in a different town/city/country as i g ..read more

i have spent all day researching restaurants for bean's birthday that is just around the bend and it has not only been fun but has kept me adequately occupied. it also has, however, made me realise that no one constant in my life really goes through these lengths for me. fair enough, different people show love in different ways but i sometimes think it would be nice to actually have someone care to cater to me in all of the ways i actually want to be. i am not bitter, though. it was just a simple musing. that said, i have curated a nice handful of options and will leave the final decision up ..read more