Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Split to be Tied
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5y ago
I think of myself as having two lives.  One that encompasses everything leading up to my divorce, and the other encompassing everything that followed my divorce.  I do this because I was two separate people in two completely different stages of life.  Many people hear that you are divorced and either don't want to ask about it out of courtesy, or they already know.  They know the pain.  The struggle of a single mother.  The changes.  The loss.  The grief.  Some people just know. Although my ex-husband and I are still working on our co-parenting relationship, and I'm sure it will be an ongoing ..read more
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Baggage Claim
Split to be Tied
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5y ago
When I was in college, and again several years post-grad, I traveled to Europe.  One of the most annoying things about traveling abroad is having to account for the extra baggage weight you will accrue on the way home, obviously because you buy stuff.  Sometimes, you have to pay an extra fee if you have excess weight on your luggage, but sometimes you get a really nice airline clerk who lets it slide.  In any case, paying for that extra bit of weight can either be completely worth it or a pain in the ass depending on what you're carrying.  Filtering in and out of different phases of life wil ..read more
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Saint Anything
Split to be Tied
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5y ago
There's a saying that goes something like, "It doesn't matter what someone does when they are alive; as soon as they die, they become a saint."   For some, they pronounce themselves saints while they are still alive. And the most decorated saints alive are narcissists. Narcissists have a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. One of the many things you'll find them doing is obsessing over their looks.  Spending extraordinary amounts of time at the gym.  Posting a lot of pictures of themselves on social media.  Another thing narcissists do for attention is use their children to ..read more
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Is Monogamy "last season?"
Split to be Tied
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5y ago
When I was about ten years old, the biggest trend for about four months was slap bracelets.  Do you remember those?  My friends and I collected and traded those things like baseball cards.  The excitement of getting a new bracelet, or better yet, stacking multiple slap bracelets together to show off your collection, was such a rush for us little girls. Like any trend, it began with the thrill of something new.  The desire for more. And, like all trends, we soon got tired and bored with it. Monogamy, to me, seems like a fancy trend that comes and goes.  It's difficult to tell which side of t ..read more
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Beautiful Boy
Split to be Tied
by
5y ago
I only have six years left with my son. Obviously, I'm talking about the time period before he goes off to college.  After he leaves, however, a lot will change in terms of the structure of our relationship, how much time we'll have together, his growth and maturity, and most importantly - he will be making his own decisions. It's amazing to me that 12 years ago I was taking this little baby boy home from the hospital.  To take care of.  I remember thinking, "do these nurses know we are leaving...with a BABY?"  I was full of anxiety.  I didn't know what I was doing or if I was going to do an ..read more
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You Can't Ride Two Horses With One Ass
Split to be Tied
by
5y ago
In reading through my own private journals, I found one in particular that caused a lot of heartache for me.  It was an argument W and I had in May of 2018. This is what I am consistently referring to when talking about dating a widower.  It. Is. Difficult. When you date a widower, you better be prepared to be considered insignificant.  You will never be a priority.  The widower may care for you, but there is a very slim (VERY) chance that they will have true feelings of love for you. It is because their true love is in Heaven.  They have lost their soul mate and they don't know how to deal ..read more
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The Old Me
Split to be Tied
by
5y ago
I'm going to refer to the days before I dated my widower as pre-w, just to keep it simple. The subject of this post has sat heavily on my heart for a long time, and I'm going to struggle a bit to get it out; in fact, it might be rather short. Pre-w I was lighter.  I was more artistic.  I smiled more.  I had hope.  I went on vacation with my friends, and took trips with my children.  I didn't have anxiety, headaches, or pain.  I knew I was beautiful.  I felt beautiful.  I enjoyed every day because I was so happy with my life. I thought adding another person to my life would only make it b ..read more
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Dating an Unavailable Man
Split to be Tied
by
5y ago
What does it mean to date a widower? This question in itself cannot be answered in a single blog post.  It certainly has many forms, subtitles, redirections, and footnotes. Dating a widower is not for the faint of heart.  It not for women who want commitment.  It is not for those who want a man to be exclusive.  Dating a widower is not easy.  It is lonely.  It is heartbreaking.  It tears your soul apart in places you didn't know existed.  It leaves you feeling empty, forgotten, unwanted, unloved, and broken. So why did I do it? My journey in dating a widower began in October, 2015.  I met ..read more
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