Day 1  I sat with my glass of wine, watching Boris tell us all what we knew was coming. Regardless, it’s still a shock. We’re in lock down.  I have a cry. I call my mum.  Photo by Martin Sanchez on Unsplash Day 2-5  People have continued to panic buy, including ibuprofen. I take ibuprofen daily to control my endo pain as advised by my doctor. I go without for a day or two before my wonderful colleagues and manager club together and bulk buy me my own supply. A few days later there’s a few incidents of people becoming seriously ill when using ibuprofen to trea ..read more

We are thinking at least one of these all of the time. I promise you. 1.Is that a flare coming on or was that chicken burger I ate earlier a bit dodge? via GIPHY 2.I feel great! Oh my gosh! Maybe that’s it, maybe I’m finally cured… Oh no.. wait sorry false alarm. via GIPHY 3.Going through the check out with tampons/pads. I hope this shop worker doesnt think I’m buying my entire street’s sanitory products for the month. via GIPHY 4.I wonder if everyone’s bathroom looks like that scene from It every month? Heck I wonder if everyone’s period feels like Pennywise waking up from a 27 year y ..read more

Endo gives me cycle long chronic pain. Pain in my abdomen, lower back and vagina. I also have severe period pain in addition to this. I take pain killers for this on a regular basis. (Regular basis here meaning multiple times a day). My pain killers help me get through the day, sometimes help me go to work when I wouldn’t have otherwise and sometimes just help me survive in bed on those particularly bad days. Pain medications are vital to me and so many others, BUT what I have leanrt is, it pays to be open minded. Over the last few years I’ve tried a few “alternative” treatments for my pain ..read more

Over the last two years I’ve seen a marked difference in what I can physically do. I’ve always been an outdoorsy person, loving walking, swimming and horse riding. Endo has changed a lot, including what activities I can or can not enjoy. Last time we were in Cornwall (the most south-western tip of England for those of you not familiar with the UK), we took a four mile walk along the coast to the nearest town. It was a mistake. I couldn’t cope. I struggled the whole way there and finished the walk with my head between my legs willing myself not to vomit. So what does Ilona do when in Cornwall t ..read more

Growing up I was never that into make up. I was blessed with good skin and up until a couple of years ago the most I’d bothered with was a bit of eyeliner and mascara. Since becoming ill I’ve watched my physical appearance change. Weight has been gained, clear skin has been lost and two undereye bags the size of those sacks you get at IKEA are now present on my face. At first I found this quite difficult to deal with but over time I’ve begun to prioritise feeling as well as I possibly can in that moment, who cares what I look like right? Some days I can feel this way with such confidence that ..read more

Ami from Undercoversuperhero has nominated me for The Mystery Blogger Award. I’ve seen this award a few times around twitter but didnt know anything about it, so it was lovely to be nominated and to learn a little more about it. Go and take a look at Ami’s blog please please please. It really is an awesome corner of the internet. Her blog raises awareness, makes me feel good reading it and is just generally lovely. Go and check it out.  “Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of ..read more

I’ve written a few posts about the affect my endo has on my mental health. A big thing being anxiety raising its ugly head. Please go check out my other post, where I talk a little more about the affect my chronic illness has on my mental health. After suffering in silence for nine or so months I’ve finally got my arse into gear and booked a few sessions with a therapist. After an assessment it’s been decided that a course of CBT is my best option on managing my anxiety. CBT or cognitive behavioural therapy, is a talking therapy which is most commonly used to treat anxiety and depression. The ..read more

It’s taken me a few days to get this bad boy up but, earlier this week the lovely Anxious History Teacher nominated me to complete the Vogue Parody challenge. I have 73 questions to answer about myself and then I’m to nominate another 12 people to answer those same questions. 1)What is your usual Starbucks order?I don’t have one. Until a year ago my go to hot drink was a black coffee and now an earl grey tea. Either of which i can get anywhere. 2) What does your work station look like right now? Matters well ask me what my bed looks like, cause they are one in the same. If you must know, mess ..read more

Photo by Sai Kiran Anagani on Unsplash Having a chronic illness can be all consuming. Making it through the week, day, the next hour even can sometimes be your one and only focus. Holidays or weekend trips away are usually the last thing on my mind. If i’m going through a flare up of my endo a holiday may even been impossible. As I learned to come to terms with (potentially) a lifelong illness I have come to realise that although the way I live isn’t what I might have planned, I still have a life to live. (OH MY GOD. That was way too corny, I’m so sorry). I’ve been holidaying wi ..read more

This year, Mental Health Awareness Week was all about body image, how we think and feel about our bodies and how this can impact our mental health. I’ve been trying something new the last few months. I wanted to change how I used social media (particularly instagram). I found that I spent way too much time scrolling instagram, looking at pictures that made me feel bad about myself and repeating this several times a day. It took me quite some time to realise that this isn’t something I had to do, it was something I was choosing to do. So I made a pact with myself to only follow people or accoun ..read more