We’re Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the Same Time.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
4y ago
Here we are, the 22nd of April… a day of so many meanings. This day resonates with me in so many different ways. 17-years-ago I was sitting in Honors Chemistry and my guidance counselor came and pulled me out of class. I was a straight-A student who had never been in “trouble.” So of course, I had a terrible feeling and started sobbing as soon as I got into the hallway. I asked what was wrong and she told me we would need to wait until we got to her office. I walked into the room to find my brother, Chase, and my mom, both in tears. I was relieved to see my mom, but at the same time, I knew so ..read more
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Work in progress.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
I’ve been struggling with time management SO HARD. With being back to work for the last month, I find that everything else gets put on the back burner. I am so burnt out and exhausted after work, that I can’t fathom anything else. Am I the only person that struggles with this?! How do you working moms and dads handle this? I’ve been wanting to follow a meal prep schedule, gym schedule, etc., but by the time I get home, I don’t want to leave again, put my daughter in the gym child care, and work out. I’ve been going to cardio drumming once a week, and I’m loving it. I feel so good afterward ..read more
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Dynamic.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
I mentioned in my last post that my weight loss on the scale had been stalled. This morning, I woke up and I had dropped 1.5 lbs. Days like this bring so much joy to my life. As much as I’d like to say that it’s not about that number on the scale, a lot of days, I get discouraged if it doesn’t move. I’m literally 8 lbs from never being 300+ lbs ever again. I swear on everything if I ever see this number on the scale again… I’ve spent a majority of the last 13 years staring at a number on the scale in the 300 range. It’s devastating. There are so many things that this number has prevented me fr ..read more
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Progress not Perfection.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
It has been forever since I’ve been able to write. I’ve been feeling extremely overwhelmed. Some days, I literally feel like I could stroke out. I’m trying really hard to be positive and stay the course. Some days are harder than others, but I’ve been trying to focus on the little things that are successful for the day. Non-scale victories have really been getting me through a lot of the tough stuff. Also, thank the heavens for my husband because I really don’t think I could have made it through the last two weeks without him. Seriously, that guy is a superhero. I’ll recap the last couple ..read more
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Stuck in the Middle.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
I’ve had a hard time the last few days putting my thoughts on “paper.” Physically, I feel ok… good for the most part, but this journey is kicking my ass mentally and emotionally. Before my surgery, I avoided places, people, and things because I didn’t think I would fit in or that everyone would be judging me. My anxiety and depression would convince me that no one really wanted me to be there and that I was better off missing out. Now that I’ve had surgery, I find that people are either avoiding me because they’re nervous that I won’t be able to take part in their plans or maybe they just trul ..read more
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43,800 Minutes.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
Ya’ll can you believe it’s been an entire month since my surgery?! Not that you were counting, but I can’t believe it. Monday was 4 weeks post-op and I’m starting to feel a lot less of the soreness I had been feeling in my left side. I’m really only feeling sore if I push myself and over-do it or if I do something I’m not supposed to… like picking up LJ (you can meet my family here). I’ve also found some ways to avoid the nausea I’ve been experiencing. As I reflect on the last month, these are a few things I’ve learned or come to terms with. Food is for nutrition, not pleasure. I no lo ..read more
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The Good Stuff.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
I knew when I started this journey my relationship with food was going to change. I mean duh, shrinking your stomach to the size of a walnut with a capacity of 1 ounce compared to the 3 pints of food/drink that a normal stomach can handle, is going to definitely change how and what you eat. If you would have asked me a year ago if I really thought I would be able to restrict my diet that much, I would have for sure told you yes… because I will never admit to failure. I would have then questioned my decision and worried about it for the rest of the day and probably week. When I was preparing ..read more
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Procrastination.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
Today marks three weeks post-op. Holy shit. I can’t believe that it’s been this long. I literally feel like it’s only been a couple of days. I wish I could say that I’ve been losing like crazy, but I’m at the infamous 3 week stall. So many people in the WLS Community go through a stall around 3-4 weeks where they either really slowly lose weight or they don’t lose at all. It’s been almost a week since the scale has moved. This tells me two things… I need to focus on the non-scale victories more than the pounds dropping. I need to stop weighing myself every damn day. It’s unhealthy. As muc ..read more
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Mother, Mother.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
Today is a strange day. It’s Mother’s Day, and while, for me, it is a special day, for many, this day is an emotional one. It is difficult to be joyous when so many people around me are filled with sorrow. This has been weighing so heavy on my heart. I am blessed. My mom is still here. She is one of my biggest supporters, we talk almost every day, and I know that when the celebratory and not-so-happy moments happen, she is one of the first people by my side. I am even more blessed because my grandmother is still here. My Nana and I have a special bond, we have a special kind of love for on ..read more
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Unconditional.
Challenging Chalcye
by chalcyejo
5y ago
It’s been about a week since I’ve last written. A lot has happened in a week, but the last few days, I have been extremely nauseated with no relief. It makes everything miserable. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to drink, I don’t want to talk… I literally just want to cry. I remember being like this when I was pregnant with Loren. I survived on Vernors, Goldfish Crackers, Pho, and chicken nuggets. I also lost 75 pounds… The reality is, I can’t survive on those things anymore. I shouldn’t have been surviving on them then. Here’s a little recap from last week… I survived the last few days ..read more
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