* Disclaimer: This story is the REAL lived experience of a female clergy member. It involves conversation about sexual assault and unwanted sexual contact, and mentions the word r*pe. This content may be triggering for some readers. “Let me tell you what this article is NOT...it is NOT intended to make you feel comfortable in any way. I do not specialize in respectability politics or tone policing. Therefore, if your primary intention is to question the legitimacy of this story, victim blame, denounce Christianity in its entirety, ponder the “tarnished image” of the church (black church in par ..read more

“Dear Lady Mel, This pandemic has been hell! I feel as if I’ve completely been disconnected from God and I know that my faith has taken a huge toll. Of course, I still love God, but I am distracted. Our church has changed so much and I don’t even watch anymore. My pastor and I had a huge falling out and I am seriously considering leaving. I barely pray anymore. I feel like I’m a mess and I’m losing this battle. Help!” — Jay, Sun City CA Hey Jay, Bro, if I can be transparent, this Covid pandemic has definitely taken a toll on my spiritual well-being as well. Panic during the early days and m ..read more

Me, Tasha (my bestie) and Sinnea ?? Last week, my best friend (of over 20 years) and I, along with one of her friends traveled to Jamaica for a vacation. For me, it was a MOMCATION because we already talked about the fact that motherhood can cause some serious identity issues. On that trip, I was able to meditate on all the ways God has blessed me through the years. As I sought to reconnect to God’s power, God also showed me that I needed to reconnect to ME. Outside of being a mom, a wife, a First Lady, a student, and a friend, I am ME first! But, the more I pondered, the more I realized that ..read more

“Dear Lady Mel, Spring is coming and a lot of people will be dealing with allergies. Well, I have an allergy of my own. I’m allergic to foolishness, and when it gets warm, foolishness is at an all time high. Wreckless driving, crazy behavior, foolish talk. I can’t take it. How do I deal with my foolishness allergy this spring?” — Phed Up in Philly Dear Phed Up In Philly, I understand exactly what you are talking about!  On that first near 70 degree day, Karen, tried me in the aisle at Target. She had on shorts, Ugg boots and a hoodie. Before I opened my mouth, I realized she was sufferi ..read more

As we kick off Women’s History Month, guest blogger JaEl has come to share her thoughts on being a woman in ministry. As you read, especially if you too, are a woman in ministry, meditate on your own experiences (and struggles) of being a Christian woman. Lady Mel Every church has THAT FAMILY!  No, not that one, the other family.  A family of several generations.  They hold no official title or office.  But they have a heart for the pastor.  For me it was the “Smiths”.  They provided the love and support this young pastor didn’t even know she needed. Nicknamed “Th ..read more

“Dear Lady Mel, I’m struggling to even put my feelings into words. My husband and I are both young adult leaders in our denomination (We aren’t AME). Because of our position, we often travel for church services and other business in our region. It seems like every time we go somewhere, I hear from close friends that we are being talked about. Everything from our clothing to our ministry to our family gets discussed, but no one ever says anything to us. I’m so tired of smiling in the faces of the people I KNOW are talking about us. I’m trying to stay saved, but this is starting to wear on m ..read more

Listen, I LOVE being a mom. I love being able to guide our daughter each day as she navigates big (VERY BIG) feelings, learns sequences, and learns to complete tasks. The fact that I feel like I have to start with a declaration of love, comes from the fact that in so many spaces, anything that feels like a “complaint” about motherhood is met with questions about the mother’s ability to love and care for their child. That’s a part of the problem if you ask me. In the past year and a half, my complete identity has shifted. So much so, I often have no idea who I’m staring at in the mirror. Yes, I ..read more

Guest Blogger VeeBee stopped by to tell y’all something! And it’s soooooooo good! Prepare those edges for the snatching! Ha! Lady Mel I am a single woman who loves God. I’m 36, never married, no kids, educated, have my own stuff, have all my teeth, all the things. I make a good bag, pay my bills early, mind my business and my edges, and I have an amazing life that includes incredible friends and a loving family. I do yoga, go to therapy, keep a clean house, and I have passport stamps and museum receipts- cultured honey and only a little sophisti-ratchet when I need to be. By societal standards ..read more

“Dear Lady Mel, How do you go about forgiving someone who wronged you and whom shows no remorse? My mom says you have to forgive them for you, despite them. But how do you actually do that? How do you forgive?” — Jean M, Pijnacker, Netherlands “Real talk, every time I see you, I want to beat the sh!t out of you.” Sis, I’m not talking to you! Ha! These are actually the real words, from a real text that I sent on August 17, 2021 at 1:14PM (iMessages are set to delete…NEVER). When I tell you I feel your question deep within my soul, it’s true. While not knowing your specific situation, I do k ..read more

Hey Usher Board! I know it’s been a while. And if you’re following me on Facebook and Instagram, you know that The Preacher and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl on Friday September 11, 2020. She is truly a gift from God. Oh, you didn’t know? Ok then…go follow me like…NOW! And read all about our road to pregnancy here! Anyway, welcome to Level 734 of Jumanji! It certainly feels as if everything has been shot to hell. And when I think about it, I blame all of y’all for allowing us to get here in the first place. You read that correctly, it’s YOUR FAULT! Reason One: Ya’ll Messed Up The New Year’s ..read more