McCarthy, M. et al Marie Curie has been hailed as “The Mother of Modern Physics” for her study of radioactivity. But Curie’s careless discovery of radium was instrumental in the eventual radiation-poisoning deaths of dozens of watch factory workers we now know as the Radium Girls. It defies logic that the discovery of such a dangerous element would be celebrated as a landmark moment for women in STEM. Without radium, there would have been no Radium Girls.  In the early 20th century, radium was used in phosphorescent paints on watch dials. Curie’s passion project created a severe and unnec ..read more

Tantin, D. et al [The following is an excerpt of the Translation Network’s own Steve McLeach and Tom Murillo recapping this year’s Nirenberg Honorary 64 Codon Madness tournament, which has been pitting codons head-to-head for over 50 years] Steve Well, another tournament completed, and what a finish this time! Tom Boy you said it, Steve. So many unexpected turns, so many upsets. Steve: Yeah, except for UUU. Steve Tell me about the unexpected exit of Histidine. Tom [chuckling]  Yeah, against Proline too. With that first-round exit the one-time champs from the beginnings of the tournament e ..read more

LiCata, V. et al As shown previously by several investigators, mansplaining is reflexive for many male-identifying scientists, with some scientists proposing that it may even be a natural instinct. In this methodological review, we’ve analyzed the mansplaining literature and found that “discipline specific mansplaining” can have significantly more impact, but requires some rudimentary learning or training to supplement the basic instinctual behavior.  Examples of discipline specific mansplaining in four different research areas are discussed herein, along with step-by-step protocols for i ..read more

Bentivegna, V. et al We’d love to live in a world where your research doesn’t get scooped and you get that grant. But alas, with so many graduate students vying for the last drops of funding, researchers are bound to lose out on thousands or millions of dollars in an academic year. So instead of changing the “publish or perish” research culture – who has the bandwidth for that anyway? –, here are some not-so-well wishes you can manifest towards your worst academic competitors.   May your centrifuge always be slightly unbalanced May your biosafety cabinet sash always be slightly too ..read more

Ito, R. et al An asteroid that had been labeled as having the potential to end all life on Earth has been demoted to a potential manslaughter meteorite thanks to the incredible defence put forward by astro-attorney J.M. Lessman. “There is little evidence to suggest that after passing through the planet’s atmosphere that my client would have the mass required to cause a mass extinction event,” Lessman told members of the astronomical review board. “Furthermore, my client was several thousand lightyears with a trajectory barely pointing toward Earth. If it had changed course towards the planet ..read more

Tantin, D. et al A graduate student blessed with the ability to generate verbose sentences that say as little as possible decided to save himself months of time by writing his own editorial rejection letters. “I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of this hack before,” said Steven Santos as he rapidly fired off rejection after rejection to himself. “My first paper took two years between when we thought it was reasonably complete and when it was finally accepted. The first six months we spent just trying to get it reviewed. With this trick, I can bypass all those fruitless months of work.” Santos wr ..read more

Ito, R. et al First contact with life from Venus ended in tragedy today, as a visitor from our planetary neighbour was sublimated by the intense heat of it’s point of arrival, Phoenix Arizona. “It really caught us by surprise,” said NASA scientist Wade Gadiot, mopping his brow for the 31st time since the interview began. “The spaceship approached the agreed upon landing site and the bridge came out like you would’ve expected. Then one of the extra-terrestrials took two steps into the sun and then turned into a cloud of dust.” Gadiot said the only thing indicating the extraterrestrial evaporat ..read more

Atha, B. et al Looking forward to having their first weekend off in over nine months, grad students Ramona Diaz, Michael Burton, and Lorraine Harp began finishing their lab work for the day. As the clock struck 10 pm, their normal time on a Friday night to begin wrapping up, they heard a low twitching sound coming from the incubator.  “We opened up the incubator and saw movement, so I placed a flask under the microscope and couldn’t believe it,” said Diaz recalling the evening. “Right as we were leaving for the weekend, each of our cultures began dividing and multiplying at rates never se ..read more

Atha, B. et al Looking forward to having their first weekend off in over nine months, grad students Ramona Diaz, Michael Burton, and Lorraine Harp began finishing their lab work for the day. As the clock struck 10 pm, their normal time on a Friday night to begin wrapping up, they heard a low twitching sound coming from the incubator.  “We opened up the incubator and saw movement, so I placed a flask under the microscope and couldn’t believe it,” said Diaz recalling the evening. “Right as we were leaving for the weekend, each of our cultures began dividing and multiplying at rates never se ..read more

Ito, R. et al Worried about finances and starting to lose his grubbish figure, local termite Terry has taken his doctor’s advice and started to eat a little lighter by only devouring a tiny house for his midday meal. “Normally just grab something from that McMansion down the street, but I noticed my exoskeleton getting a bit tight,” said Terry while munching on the paneling of his lower carb meal.  “At first I thought it was just time to molt again, but I already did that last week,” explained Terry. “I knew I was in trouble when my femur gaps started disappearing.” Terry’s hive-mate Tina ..read more