7 Years!
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
Life has been very busy lately, and I honestly haven’t written in a long time. I forgot how much I missed it. I just wanted to take a moment to let you all know that this past Saturday I celebrated 7 years sober! Holy crap, right?!? I felt this was the perfect opportunity to write about, and reflect on, my recovery throughout these last 7 years. My anniversary is the most important day of my year, and not just because I get to celebrate a personal success – but also because it reminds me of how far I have come since those first 24 hours. It gives me an opportunity to thank the people who help ..read more
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Body Image
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
Today was the start of my new and improved health and fitness journey. Yep – here I go again. I am no longer calling it a diet, screw that – I’m calling it a “do-it-dammit!” I have not been happy with my body for a VERY long time, and if I’m being perfectly honest I wasn’t even happy with it when I was thin. So this time, I am focusing on health and fitness – eating right and getting active – instead of that seemingly unforgiving number on the bathroom scale. It’s a journey I’ve been on many times before, so I find myself feeling many of the same feelings I’ve felt in the past – shame, disap ..read more
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Spelling Bee ?
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
My daughter won her school Spelling Bee last month which allowed her to advance to the District Spelling Bee where the age range went all the way up to 8th grade! She held her own, and was so confident. She made it into the top 12 spellers. Then it happened – she got one wrong, and just like that – she was out. She looked at me, with tears in her eyes, and said, “I am so sorry!” As a mother, I cannot even begin to tell you how much my heart hurt to hear her apologize to me for something as small as spelling a word wrong! I looked at her and asked, “Why on earth would you ever apologize to me f ..read more
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Happy Holidays! ♥️
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
A quick year in review: For all of the things that went wrong in 2020, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on some of the things that went right! My family has stayed healthy. Brad and I stayed employed. I was even promoted! I celebrated 6 years sober! Brad and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary We were blessed with a new niece, Josie! And 2 new baby cousins we have yet to meet! Madelyn was finally able to see Hamilton on stage! (Thank you grandma!) We were able to go on a Disney vacation before COVID cancelled everything. We were able to spend lots of time with my bro ..read more
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Quarantine Ramblings
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how this pandemic would have impacted my life if I were still drinking. I’ve ran a thousand different scenarios through my head and each one leads to the same result – I would not have survived this. Isolation is dangerous for those who suffer with substance abuse disorders. We spend most of our lives trying to hide our addictions from the world, and COVID-19 has given us the perfect excuse to never leave our houses. I like to joke that I went to rehab more than once because I had so much fun the first time around. In reality, it’s not a funny story at all ..read more
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Celebrating 6 years! ?
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
Today, I celebrate 6 years of recovery!!! I decided to take a hike this morning to allow myself some time to reflect on where I was 6 years ago, and where I am today. I am so grateful for my sobriety, and for the friends and family who have walked this path beside me. Thank you for holding me up when I didn’t have the strength to stand on my own. This journey has been difficult at times, but mostly it has been beautiful. There have been many challenges I have had to overcome, but I have continued to persevere. I truly believe that things happen for a reason, and that there is no challenge too ..read more
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Ramblings of a Chronic Worrier
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
The early morning ramblings of a chronic worrier…it’s exhausting! What exhausts me is when my “inner-me” starts comparing itself to your “outer-you”. Does that make sense? Quarantine has been difficult. I miss human connection – eye contact, smiles and the vulnerability of speaking truthfully to someone face to face. I was talking with a good friend recently, and we were discussing things like stress, worry, fear, anxiety – the human desire to have control over our lives. As a woman, being a “worrier” is practically written into my DNA. I am constantly trying to fix, manage and control the wo ..read more
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I’m Still Here! ?
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
I haven’t written in awhile. I’m sorry for that. Life has been crazy and I’ve honestly just been in a funk for way too long. It’s Friday night, and 6 months ago I would have just left the Milwaukee women’s prison after having a meeting with the ladies there. I would have just shared my experience, strength and hope with them. I would have just told them that despite their current circumstances, and those green jumpsuits they find themselves wearing, they are capable of change – and that they have every right to turn their lives around as any other person outside of those walls. They do not hav ..read more
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The Isolation Journal
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
I have to be honest guys, this isolation is starting to get to me. I love to laugh and make jokes, and I truly believe laughter is the best medicine and it’s been seeing me through this shit show so far, but sometimes I have a tendency to use humor as armor – to mask my true feelings. So right now, I am letting you all know that today, in this moment, I am not feeling ok with this – and that’s ok! I feel silly complaining, because at the end of the day I am truly grateful for all that I have. I feel lucky. Blessed. I am still employed. My husband and I are both able to work from home and home ..read more
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I’m not Letting Her Go…I’m Letting Her Grow!
Free to Be V | Recovering Out Loud
by Free to be V
2y ago
My daughter turns 10 next week, and I seriously cannot believe it! How is it even possible that 10 years went by so quickly?!? This year I’ve seen my little girl begin to blossom into a strong, compassionate and independent young lady. As proud as this makes me feel as a mother, I’ve selfishly started to miss the days of carrying her in my arms! I literally CANNOT carry her anymore. I can’t do it! She is almost as tall as me now! Her newfound independence was put on full display when we were in Disney World a couple of weeks ago. Out of habit, I repeatedly reached for her hand, only to have h ..read more
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