Why Can’t I Just Leave?
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
10M ago
More than 60 million people have been in a pathological love relationship with someone who has an impaired conscience. Are you one of them? Do you feel fiercely loyal toward your partner although your partner has put you through unspeakable acts of cruelty and betrayal? Click to read a preview         The post Why Can’t I Just Leave? appeared first on Fairy Tale Shadows ..read more
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Trouble in Paradise: Why Narcissists Ruin Vacations
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
Maybe the narcissist promised to take you on the trip of a lifetime. Or maybe it was your trip originally and the narcissist invited themselves, spinning a tale about how wonderful it would be for the two of you to spend some time together.  Yet what gets sold as a dream can end up turning into a nightmare. Why narcissists ruin vacations, however, isn’t as much of a mystery as it may seem.  Vacations aren’t an exception. Narcissists also have a tendency to ruin other special days, such as anniversaries and birthdays, Valentine’s Day and other holidays. [Read [How Narcissists Twist th ..read more
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Going No-Contact When a You’re a Victim of a Narcissist Discard
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
You must still go no-contact when a you’ve been through a narcissist discard.  Let’s get very real. A relationship with a narcissist does not end until you decide it’s over. Focus on those words for a moment. There’s some power in them. We usually hear experts talk about going no-contact when the relationship is still ongoing. We read resources about moving on after being discarded. Yes, survivors in current narcissistic abuse relationships must get the information and support they need to go no-contact. Yes, survivors who are no longer in those relationships must get the information and ..read more
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How Narcissists Twist the Truth and Trap Their Partners
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s likely your human rights are being violated. When I was in a relationship with a pathological partner, he never controlled what or when I took care of my basic needs or kept me from talking to others. However, he did exert quite a bit of control over my wardrobe, where I went, who I saw, and with whom I interacted. “I never told you that you couldn’t hang out with your friends!” he would say to me. It was always said in a tone that suggested I was crazy for implicating him. He was right. He had never explicitly said to me I couldn’t.  H ..read more
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Your Comprehensive Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
This narcissist dictionary was developed as a comprehensive resource to explain concepts you may encounter while reading about narcissistic abuse.  Many of the terms are used and explained using personal stories of survivors and the most up-to-date research in my book Why Can’t I Just Leave? You can read the first chapter for free right now here:   You can read the first chapter for free right now by clicking here This comprehensive dictionary is a living document and is updated periodically to reflect emerging research and the growing use of terminology for defining narcissism ..read more
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Narcissists and Valentine’s Day: Romantic Torture
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
Narcissists and Valentine’s Day can be a recipe for something bad to happen. Valentine’s Day is often a sensitive and dreaded day for many people, regardless of relationship status. Yet narcissists are notorious for ruining big days such as birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays.  [Read How Narcissists Ruin Holidays] Valentine’s Day, however, is “extra-special.”  Everything about Valentine’s Day is tailor-made for them to wield it as a weapon to inflict maximum pain.  Valentine’s Day can be triggering for those coming out of abusive relationships with narcissists. It ..read more
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Why You Can’t Leave the Narcissist in Your Life
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
When we are in relationships with narcissists, we are constantly trying to figure out how to change course. Anything other than go “no contact.” For example, if we could just explain to them how their behavior is hurting us, then perhaps they would stop.  Things never align. We never reach the elusive dream of a loving relationship characterized by honesty and respect. Instead, we find ourselves becoming weaker and more exhausted trying to do things that are beyond the bounds of what we should be expected to give. It’s a merry-go-round we either ride until we’re sick or that we finally st ..read more
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Does the Narcissist Really Love You?
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
It was the question that I could not answer:  Did he ever care about me? Can narcissists love you?  I would lie awake at night and wonder how he could have looked at me the way he had if he did not love me.  When love is a lie, can people fake enlarged pupils and do they look at you with their lips slightly parted, as if they are dying of thirst and you are a pool of endless water?  Do you look into their eyes and see yourself reflected back like rays of gold illuminating a forgotten darkness?  Do you catch them staring at you like maybe you are made of magic? Could I ..read more
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How to Deal with a Narcissist During the Holidays
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
0If you’re with a narcissist, you may be dreading the holidays. You may already be familiar with some of the ways they try to ruin any festive or fun plans you’ve tried to make.  [Read: How Narcissists Ruin Holidays: It’s Not Your Imagination] Here are some ways to survive the narcissist during the holiday season and make it through to the next year with your sanity intact. Even if you’re in no-contact, it’s important to keep in mind that holidays are a prime season for trying to pull ex-partners back into the web. Therefore, I’ve included a special section on how to arm yourself aga ..read more
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How Narcissists Ruin Holidays: It’s Not Your Imagination
Fairy Tale Shadows
by Kristen Milstead
1y ago
Narcissists ruin holidays and make what should be a joyful time of year into a time of tears and anxiety–and sometimes even fear.  The holidays can be a painful time of year for people who are in relationships with narcissists. It can feel as if no matter how your relationship has been going with them before the holidays even start, they can find a way to use this time of year to cause additional pain. By taking advantage of the cultural norms and expectations surrounding holidays or the disruption to normal routines, they can find creative ways to hurt and control. This holds true regard ..read more
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