Celebrating The Holidays With Autism
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
The preconceived notions about what it would be like to parent this child of mine, and the reality we live, are sometimes so far apart it is mind boggling. I had no idea the kinds of challenges we would face, or the immense joys we would experience. I had no idea that my son would lead me into a community of some of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.  When I started blogging, I never imagined more than a few dozen people would read what I wrote. I never imagined that I would hear back from hundreds of people and get to share in their joys and frustra ..read more
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Not in Kansas Anymore
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
We are not in Kansas anymore. We are travelling this weekend. Today, my nephew got married in Texas, much to Tate’s annoyance.  Tate has known about this event for months and months, and the specifics have dominated much of his time and energy. I think Tate even went through the steps of grief before we came. There was denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Tate has been resigned for several days to the fact that he would indeed be coming with the rest of the family for this wedding.  Sydney and I actually came to Texas several days ahead of my husband and ..read more
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My heart isn't ready yet to listen to reason
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
My dad has been gone now for over two months. Some days are still really hard. One of the hardest was about one month ago when daddy had been gone for a full month. That day was really hard. I journaled at the end of that hard day. Journaling is my therapy. I stood in front of his closet, and pulled his shirts from their hangers, one by one. Some I folded and stacked in a pile, others I wadded for the trash. Mamma sat and watched, making comments about each shirt. Some he’d owned for thirty years. A few were much newer. Almost every one held a memory for me. I had been avoiding this task for ..read more
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Being Strong During the Toughest of Times
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
A few evenings ago you told me that you are too weak and tired to go on, and you need me to be strong for you. You, the strong one, my man of steel, need me to help you during the hardest time of your life. You asked me to stay close to home from here on out, because you feel safer knowing I am close. Me, the weak one, your little girl, makes you feel safer. How can that be? I thought you were invincible. The surgeries, the needles, the drain tube, and the awful diagnosis scared me, but not you. You stayed strong. You said comforting things to me, and told me you were not afraid. And you were ..read more
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When Even Numbers Become Odd
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
The first time it happened I scratched my head and dismissed it as odd. The second time I raised my eyebrows and thought “Oh no. Please let me be wrong”. The third time I knew: my son with autism has added to his rigid routine. There is one more hoop he now jumps through so he can keep his world well-ordered and balanced. "I'm makin' waffles" is a favorite movie line at our house. Routine is very important in our house. My son with autism needs many things to stay the same. Sometimes those routines are easy to accommodate, and sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are harmless ..read more
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Once Upon a Time: Autism
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
2003 Once upon a time, there was a mother who was blessed with a wonderful husband, and a houseful of precious children. The mother was very happy and content.   Once upon a time, there was a mother who envisioned great things for her children. She imagined drivers’ licenses, high school graduations, colleges, careers, weddings and another generation of babies someday. The mother spent her days caring for her children, watching them play and learn, amazed at their ability to absorb information from their environment. She often described them as little sponges, once upon a time ..read more
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Puzzle Pieces Are Conversation Starters
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
I once started a blog post with “You may be an autism parent if”. It was a fun article and well received by my readers. One of my statements was: “You may be an autism parent if you have tee shirts and jewelry with puzzle pieces on them and your car sports an autism awareness bumper sticker”.  It’s true that over the years I have acquired several tee shirts that declare myself a part of the autism community. My favorite necklace has a puzzle piece charm and my son’s initial on it. Why do I do it? Why do I like to wear clothing and jewelry that identify me as someone whose life is touched ..read more
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Autism parents have a lot in common
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
My son Tate is fifteen. Tate has autism. He was about two and a half years old when he was diagnosed. Parenting a child with autism is challenging at times, but also very rewarding. We have had a lot of interesting experiences over the years and gotten to know a lot of others who are also a part of the autism community. So many of our stories and experiences are similar. I recently decided to illustrate some of the most common and repeated scenarios I have heard about from others in the autism community and/or experienced myself. They are in no particular order ..read more
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Christmas with Autism
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
Christmas time, the most wonderful time of the year! Or is it? Choosing a Tree, 2015 My fifteen-year-old son Tate has autism. He is excited about the approaching holiday. He does look forward to Christmas, but not for all the same reasons many of us do.  For many of us, Christmas means family gatherings, jingling bells, shopping, baking, visiting, wrapping, music, colorful lights, evergreen trees, and maybe even snow. The wonderful smells, sounds, and sights are a welcome vacation from a regular routine for the majority, it seems. But for some of the autism community, the fest ..read more
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Thanksgiving Feast or Dinner Roll?
Quirks and Chaos
by
3y ago
Thanksgiving. It is such a special time of year: a time of reflection, a time for reuniting with family, a time to share in a feast that we all enjoy so much.  Wait. Sometimes holidays like Thanksgiving are not enjoyed by all. Thanksgiving for some people with autism is a virtual nightmare. The break in routine, the smells, the noise, and all that hugging, is enough to cause a lot of anxiety.  For so many of us who are the caregivers of a person with autism, a large family gathering is a time to dread the conversation at the family meal, because we know it has the potentia ..read more
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