Today feels like crawling into my dad’s minivan after field hockey practice, honeycrisp apple in hand from my teammate’s organized mom. She was the kind of mom who had a beautiful tote full of beautiful apples and a white smile and who made me feel, in some way, underserving of her apple. Like she meant them for the other girls but not me necessarily, I wasn’t close enough to her daughter to take a honeycrisp… View Post The post It feels like fall and seven years ago appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

I’ve spent the summer in a weird state of nostalgia. I like to think I’m the kind of person who doesn’t take major life events seriously — it’s just a ceremony, it’s just a piece of paper — but it turns out I am the opposite of that. I take them way too seriously! And now my days are dotted with flashbacks, some are familiar memories I play back often, some are completely new ones… View Post The post Now both college and summer are over! appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

A few weekends ago, I saw my first Torn Space show in Buffalo. It was called “Feast” and I went in intentionally knowing nothing except for a couple of video clips I (accidentally!) saw on my friend’s Instagram story. The clips involved a giant cow and what appeared to be a sacrifice on a giant tree and a couple little blonde children running around before I closed the app and tried not to find out… View Post The post An imagination ‘feast’ appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

When I saw the date at work this morning, I exclaimed, “wow it’s already mid-August!?” to my colleague, then followed up with, “Thank God, I’m over summer.” I told a friend I was over summer a few days ago too, saying that I’m not a summer person at all. It’s a different tune than the one I sing in March and April, which is shouts and cries of excitement that the sun is coming out… View Post The post Reflecting on a summer spent reflecting appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

I grieve my childhood in bits and pieces.  It comes in flashbacks — at the sight of a beaten-up Harry Potter paperback. Or when I see an eight-year-old laugh or mock or sulk, remembering how it felt to be eight, beginning to grapple with the fact that everyone eventually dies from old age, yet age remained an unattainable construct. Old age was something that could never happen to me, at eight. (In a way, twenty-one is… View Post The post Eight appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

I want to paint gold stars on my bedroom walls. I painted them a dark navy when I moved into my new apartment in June. They had been gray. Or was it cream? I wanted them navy. I thought I wanted them to be white, like every apartment vision board algorithmically calculated for a young woman in her 20s told me I did, but then I saw a photo on Pinterest of deep navy walls… View Post The post If the stars were mine appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

My anxiety is like a… Bull. Some days, I ride the bull flawlessly, like some Western bull-riding celebrity I’ll never be able to name because bull-riding celebrities don’t become famous in Buffalo, N.Y. I grip on, face every challenge like an expert and even find enjoyable exhilaration in the journey. That can’t be what riding a bull is like most of the time, though, and neither is that what anxiety is usually like for me.… View Post The post Anxiety analogies I’ve recently come up with appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

It’s winter (when it’s not so hot out). It’s winter (when there isn’t so much to do). I’ve had a couple more cups of coffee. I’ve finished reading this book. I’ve eaten. I feel like it. I have time (in the rare form of 12 completely free hours). It’s morning. I’ve awoken from a nap. I have more money. I feel better. Summer ends. *Write that book. Reach out to that person. Research that degree.… View Post The post I’ll do it* when… appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

Perhaps you already know this, but Lizzo’s NPR Tiny Desk Concert came out today. For what must be the 22nd time this summer, I found myself dancing to Lizzo at midnight in my living room, singing her lyrics with as much energy as I can muster on a Monday night. Earlier today, on a car ride back from dinner with a friend, a train of thought led me to music I listened to as a… View Post The post I heart Lizzo appeared first on Vintage Lillies ..read more

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