Prison Tattoo Artist Always Forgetting Which Way Swastika Supposed To Go
The Onion » Local
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2y ago
Prison Tattoo Artist Always Forgetting Which Way Swastika Supposed To Go ..read more
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Matador Clearly Just Projecting Own Insecurities About Having Red Cloth Waved At Him
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
MADRID—Surmising that the professional bullfighter still had latent childhood trauma that he needed to work out ..read more
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Why More Americans Are Putting Off Having Kids
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
A recent study found that the average age for new American parents is up to 26 for mothers and 31 for fathers, both ..read more
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Beefy Gym Man Drinking From Gallon Water Jug Like Mythical Giant
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
CHICAGO—In an awe-inspiring display of brute strength, beefy gym man Matthew Brennan was reportedly drinking from a ..read more
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Accidental Clicks On Ads Only Thing Saving Media Employee From Layoff
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
Accidental Clicks On Ads Only Thing Saving Media Employee From Layoff ..read more
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Band Remembers Back When They Used To Play Shows For 10 People Instead Of 4 People
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
AUSTIN, TX—Shaking their heads while recalling the days when they were just starting out, the members of local band ..read more
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Menstrual Flow Included In Calculation of Whether To Get Up For Twist And Shout
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
NEW YORK—Imploring him to turn away before it was too late, a tiny voice in the back of area man Matthew Nanousi’s ..read more
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‘Stop! You Don’t Have To Do This!’ Whispers Tiny Voice In Head Of Man Clicking On Article About Michael B. Jordan’s Cultural Appropriation
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
NEW YORK—Imploring him to turn away before it was too late, a tiny voice in the back of area man Matthew Nanousi’s ..read more
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Conservative Man Tearfully Informs Family Critical Race Theory Has Spread To His Liver
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
DALLAS, TX—Gathering his wife and children close to him as he shared the tragic news, area conservative Dan Gainey ..read more
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Cause Of Death Installed Above Bed
The Onion » Local
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3y ago
ELKTON, MD—In an effort to avoid appearing too desperate, local 911 operator Denise Sarris confirmed Tuesday that ..read more
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