submitted by /u/Relevant_Monk_5 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

For context: I invited her to dinner. She got excited and bought a brisket at the grocery store expecting I'd be just as excited as her to make it for us. She always comes to my house super late (she said she can come by at 4pm but she's always like 2 hours later than what she says). I told her "you realize brisket is the sort of thing that takes hours to make right?". Her response is A+ borderline material (seconds before this we were on the phone and she was making fun of herself for expecting me to be as excited as her to cook said brisket). My favorite part is when she says she "hobbl ..read more

I get in a depressed state when I'm alone. Especially when I get out of bed and I don't have anything to do that day. My psychologist says that I have to think of ways to fulfill the underlying needs that are not being met: being with someone, being comforted and having a goal. I have a husband and I found friends now, but obviously they cant be with me 24/7. The only thing I can think of is a dog (wich I really want), but I have a feeling I should be able to find a way to fulfill those needs myself. I just have no idea how, because I don't want to feel alone. (I also think I shouldn't use my ..read more

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. I’ve been processing a lot of past stuff my pwBPD did in my childhood (we’re VLC and I’ve been moved out for a while minus a 6-month stint about a year ago when I was going through medical issues) and some stuff she even does to this day. I’m realizing there’s always been this pattern of her pushing me towards situations that have all sorts of red flags - whether I caught it or ignored them because that’s what I was trained to do, cuz I think she wanted a martyr, “woe is me, our suffering makes us superior to everyone else” buddy - and somet ..read more

Hi all - it's been awhile since I last posted here. Not sure what I'm hoping to get out of this point, but hoping that getting it off of my chest helps. My uBPD mom was diagnosed with diverticulitis in December and had surgery at the end of February. The recovery has been a bit rough - she was in the hospital for two weeks because of bad nausea. I wasn't able to go down to see her immediately after the surgery because our whole family had caught COVID, but I went down when she got discharged to help her settle back in. She had a pretty good chunk of her colon removed and was given a temporary ..read more

For content, we talked about something for work over the phone and I went over the whole thing with him yesterday. Then he had to end the call. So I also emailed him a VERY detailed email explaining everything about said thing, knowing that when he's stressed he does not listen well to anything. (I think he gets stuck in lizard brain catastrophizing craziness he learned from our BPD mom) So I did that for good measure. He calls me again this morning sounding very scattered and asks me the same questions I went over with him multiple times on the phone yesterday and laid out answers for i ..read more

This may be a little rambly but please bear with me, I don't feel I've ever had anyone understand what it's like to be raised by a BPD parent. My dad has recently been diagnosed with BPD after being told for the last 20 years he has depression. I have fond memories of him as a child, but I think that's because my mum took the brunt of him and shielded me from his behaviour. However since they split up when I was 14 I have effectively parented him. He has bankrupted himself - but it "wasn't his fault", it was my mother's fault. Since his divorce he hasn't had a successful relationship - but th ..read more

I’m finally getting tested for ADHD and in my screening meeting she said that she would like to test me for Autism and PTSD too. Recounting some of the stuff I went through with my uBPD mom brought up a lot for me and I could tell my stories were even making the therapist well up with tears. This was last week. This morning I told my therapist of the past year that I’m gonna get tested for PTSD and how that was a lot for me to handle because sometimes I forget how hard my life was and she told me that the official diagnosis she has for me is PTSD and she thought I knew it? I’ve been crying on ..read more

I hope this is ok to post. I just thought it was funny in a dark way. I’m listening to a podcast about an infamous American serial killer. They were discussing his childhood, in which his parents got divorced. His mom apparently would insult him regularly by saying, “you’re just like your father”, and then the podcast hosts went on to say that it’s theorized the mother had borderline personality disorder. Obviously never officially diagnosed but her behaviors fit the criteria. “You’re just like your father” is criticism I’ve heard from my uBPD mom for years, so this made me perk up my ears li ..read more

I just thought I’d share this. It’s been 2 weeks. My body was just dumping hair before NC, being like “Don’t need this, have to survive.” I’m barely losing any hair now when I shower and I had been losing literal fistfuls every single day for over a year. The change happened within the first week of no contact. I so highly recommend NC, for the betterment of both involved. It’s CALM. There’s PEACE. I haven’t been put down once or had a bad day in nearly 3 weeks! I feel balanced and supported in my soul. Realize, there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone’s pointing at you like you’re incompete ..read more