So Much Too Much
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
I have so much to write about that; I just honestly don’t know where to begin. I guess. I guess I could start with my 14yo officially being diagnosed with Autism lately. It came as no surprise, but having it be official opens up a world of resources he would benefit from. It’s not even overwhelming. I’ve long since adapted my parenting of him to accommodate his autism. Even if he didn’t turn out to be autistic he had quirks that needed adapting to. So, I just did. Some trial and error. Some common sense. He’s actually a fairly easy kid to parent comparatively speaking. At least for me. We’re s ..read more
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Further Thoughts on Love
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
Remember a couple of posts ago how a couple of my friends plotted and found me a new blue glass baking dish, and I cried because that’s love? These showed up a few days after Christmas from the same two friends. My mind is blown. I had casually mentioned around the time I mentioned the baking dish that I used to have 6 blue glass wine glasses, but 4 of them had broken over the years. They just latched onto that and did what they do ..read more
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Clowder Power
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
Haha. I have a 4th cat. Because apparently the only thing preventing me from sliding deep into crazy cat lady territory was my ex wife. lol Meet Jaskier. A true bard. And Luke’s ESA. Now everyone in the house has an ESA kitty except me*. That’s called foreshadowing. * 4 cats, 4 humans. But Ash and Soot are bonded. Ash is a good boy and a great ESA to Sammy, but Soot, who was meant to be mine, has no interest in being anyone’s cat. Her loyalty is to Ash. Which is fine. She’s her own cat. She’s Ash’s cat. She’s fine. But that leaves me without an ESA. Foreshadowing, that ..read more
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Thoughts on Love
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
This has been a hellacious 12 months. It was exactly 12 months ago (plus a few days) that my car got totaled when I hit that 17yo on a brand new license that ran a stop sign. I fucked myself up pretty good in that wreck too. No lasting physical damage, but I still can’t approach intersections where I have the right of way in confidence. And the thing of it is, the bad things just kept happening again and again, not just one after the other, but with a frequent overlap in the months that followed. I still haven’t really caught a break. 2021 truly has been a shitty year! Except, it’s also been t ..read more
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On Gallbladders and Complications
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
September 2021 was rough. Maybe not quite as rough as March 2021 when it came to the medical emergency, but still rough. And depending who’s opinion you ask, I sort of almost died in an obnoxious way. I had my gallbladder surgery on August 25. It had been acting up again for days no matter what I did and did not eat, to the point they almost yoinked it early. But I assured them I could hold out until the 25th. I did not want to miss work before my planned absence. By the time they did get in there though, my gallbladder was so inflamed and angry, what is normally a 30 to 45 minute surgery took ..read more
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Overdue
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
I owe a long post over what has proven to be a complicated gallbladder removal and recovery. I’ll get it written soon. But after my brief hospital stay ..read more
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You Know Max is Healing When
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
maximum_marrs — Today at 6:29 PM Hey [6:30 PM] Know how I used to just break out in song, most of them on the fly parodies like I was the protagonist in a musical? Robin — Today at 6:30 PM yeah maximum_marrs — Today at 6:30 PM Know how I just randomly stopped? Robin — Today at 6:30 PM yeah maximum_marrs — Today at 6:31 PM Turns out stopping was a life and brain trauma response. [6:31 PM] I’m healing. [6:31 PM] Know how I can tell? Robin — Today at 6:31 PM random jingles? maximum_marrs — Today at 6:31 PM Give me the red meat and free my soul, I wanna get lost in the taco and steak for days! [6 ..read more
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Dashing
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
I picked up a side hustle delivering for Doordash. I’ve worked 4 shifts, for about 12 hours total. Even took my 9yo on a short shift so I could earn but spend some quality time with him. It was good fun but his bladder is small and I bought him a soda early in the shift. Lol I like that I can basically dash whenever and wherever I want. There are dashing hot spots where they are desperate for dashers and you can earn extra dashing in those areas. But let’s talk money. When the tips are good, it’s decent money. When the tips suck you don’t earn much. (Always tip your delivery person!) In the 12 ..read more
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Loss and Honey
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
Lost my most recent patient, Miss Pattie, to liver cancer this week. I wasn’t there when it happened, but I was with her quite a bit leading up to her final moments. I really enjoyed the time spent with her while she was still functional. I only had about a week or two of that time with her, but I’ll treasure it. I firmly believe that everyone we meet leaves an impact on our lives, even if our time with them is brief. Miss Pat introduced me to honey. I mean, I’ve always been a huge fan of honey. I spend way too much money at the local farmer’s market buying quality honey. I have spicy honey. I ..read more
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Certifications
Walking The Borderline - Where Life Takes You When You Are Living With BPD
by kmarrs
2y ago
I’m currently working towards getting certified in basic first aid and CPR. I feel these will make me a better caregiver to the elderly, but also a better prepared mother. I achieved my first aid certification last night. Most of the class was online lessons, but there was an in person demonstration of how to use an EpiPen which is an important skill that you don’t have time to stop and read the instructions for when in the heat of the moment. Next week is CPR. That course is fully in person. I’m looking forward to it. I still want to get my EMT certification. Again, I feel it’ll have me bette ..read more
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