For my last post, I mentioned deal-breakers. These are individual relationship preferences that determine a person’s wants and needs, formulated to help guide someone through their dating process in order to select a better match. When seriously reflecting on what’s gone right or wrong in a relationship, one can learn to make better decisions—whether still browsing profiles, before agreeing to go on a date, or when the time comes to let go. There are serious deal-breakers and also not-so-serious ones, but even the quirky ones can have a rather serious impact. For example, I have this theory I ..read more

Do you have a deal-breaker list? After writing down the many attributes I sought in a partner, I finally got around to jotting down my anti-wish list: traits I’d prefer not to experience again in a relationship. Funny thing, I didn’t realize some of a partner's no-no’s until after they occurred. Take, for example, snoring. Not the occasional, positional kind that comes and goes and can be stopped with a loving tap on one’s shoulder. I mean the falls-asleep-before-you-and-doesn’t-stop-until-dawn-and-you-can’t-remember-getting-any-shut-eye kind of snoring. Precisely the sort that eventually doo ..read more

You know how, in the movies, there tend to be these hilarious or awkward meet-cutes—where two people meet under the strangest of circumstances and often partner in the end (or otherwise)—and you wonder if that ever actually happens in real life? rare not quite diamonds, mister; more like pearls, missus. inhale a breath - and exhale - now, try to explain it: therein lies the position where you can do something, see someone, but can’t illustrate either. not the steps—1, 2, 3, not their presence—“why me?” none, and yet, at least one. I had finished doing laundry at my condo and was well on my wa ..read more

I bought a new bicycle, but my excitement peeled away when the salesman who brought it out to me immediately sized me up. Literally - he said he'd like to see me in a medium rather than a small. He continued to show off pieces and parts of the system until I zoned out completely when I realized he had already placed the saddle as high up and far back as it would go. Since I officially owned the vehicle now, his job was to educate me on its features and how—Oh, did anyone tell you?—it's a "final sale." I rode home uncomfortably, the whole process becoming a pain in my neck after a full year of ..read more

I thought about enrolling in a self-help program to help me deal with my relationship issues. There are plenty out there, and for an undisclosed amount, I, too, could enroll. "Some women do go into debt for this," one program's administrator admitted. I was simultaneously inspired and disgusted. Inspired that someone who went on a personal journey and found the key to her own relationship success is now triumphantly passing her key to other women; disgusted how much it all felt like a 'sell.' After an introductory phone call that quickly switched from, "Tell me about yourself—I noticed you wr ..read more

At 11:59 P.M. on his milestone birthday, I sent him a text, wishing him well. I had managed to stay fully occupied for the remaining 1,439 minutes of that day. When I wasn't asleep, I ate a nice breakfast, worked an 8-hour shift from home, cooked lunch, crafted dinner, washed the dishes (twice), took out the garbage, sorted my recyclables, baked bread, then baked brownies, watched T.V., did a jigsaw puzzle, completed a Tarot reading (which reminded me to practice fortitude), talked shop with a fellow business owner, spoke to my mom, texted with dad, took a shower, read a book. I shouldn’t hav ..read more

She was used to being alone. Literally alone; not "lonely." So, on a rainy October night, while waiting for her friends to arrive at a local establishment for a party, she went to the bar and ordered a cocktail. As she sat, sipping, a creepy clown appeared. Literally a creepy clown; it was Halloween. He looked good, too. Good for creepy. "Since you already have a drink, may I at least have this dance?" he charmed. ... Clown-face was a great dancer. Dressed as a thief herself, my girl was feeling rather adventurous and flirty—confident her dancing skills were also legit that night. Even if not ..read more

I met guy, we got to chatting. I found myself liking him. Consequently, I instantly felt I was in trouble. I was informed enough about the do's and don'ts of dating to understand that if I were to begin showing interest, as I like to do when I'm—well—interested, there was potential that the relationship could fade. Why? -It's simply human nature. -Anything you chase in life runs away. -Our species are not designed to be monogamous creatures. According to history, research, opinion, and/or experience (take your pick), if I were to remain relatively aloof, he should theoretically stick around a ..read more

Sometimes opposites really do attract. I mean, imagine two introverts at a frat party. I bet your brain transitions to them being alone in a dorm room reading a book, or snuggled up under a blanket to watch a favorite movie. How about two Type-A's gone camping? You might get the sense that this was their first (maybe last) trip, and perhaps even the next idea for a horror film. Opposites attract because of the way personalities counteract devastating relationship effects of similar personalities. Other people tend to bring out the interesting parts of us that lie dormant. This summer, I had t ..read more

My friend split with her boyfriend and I was also single, although she had gotten back on the proverbial horse first. I went to visit her for some healing vibes and we sat outdoors, drank tea and reminisced about the good ol’ days when we felt people were nicer, sweeter, less complicated. (Back when dating wasn't as hard.) Or, was it that we had been more sheltered and naive back then? Did we not realize it's always been hard? She got to chatting with one fellow on a dating app, and I helped her with a few one-liners over text. Soon, we realized we were all planning to go to the same festival ..read more