Dear all What I'm about to write mentions both child loss and sucide. Please don't read if either of these things might trigger you or....if I'm honest- having a good day. My six year old daughter was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2022. Five months later she was taken from me. The only thing I take with me, even on days like today when all those tiny shitty things build up and become something large (probably just in my head) I cling to her final moments with a sense of love. April the 2nd. She had next to no life in her. We laid on that hospital bed watching Bluey on her ipad. We must ..read more

Today brought me crashing back down. I've been doing okay with adjusting. 9 months out. I've been going to therapy, working out again, eating healthy and filling my time with things that make me happy. That does include isolating myself from people. Not intentionally but I like to read and that's done pretty much in solitude. Well I got sick last week and I've been down for the count since then. My asthma is terrible I'm still struggling to breathe. My ears are clogged and I can barely hear. Well I went to the dentist today trying to work on my teeth so I might have more self confidence and t ..read more

That’s it. I think. The reason why I can’t abide dying in movies. I had issues with war movies before I had a kid and a husband. Now it’s intolerable. Doesn’t have to be a war movie tho.. I actually get physical shocks when I perceive pain on anything I observe. I avoid it like the plague. I can’t be the only one? Most reasons why I’m such a pansy (not a pussy as those can take a pounding.. lol…not my quote, but you get the gist). Maybe. Betty White? I can’t take or watch pain/dying “redshirts” actively in a plot for whatever reason or how benign. As reasons don’t seem right. These were someo ..read more

My husband and I weren't big on wedding anniversaries. To be honest, we regularly dug out our marriage license to see when we were married before I finally plugged it into our calendar. We always said our real anniversary would be when we threw an actual wedding and party of our dreams instead of the elopement under the cherry blossoms after we waited out the three day waiting period. Instead, I'm sitting here alone with my dog on what should be our 7th wedding anniversary. Only being married for five years sounds like a cruel joke. It really makes you think about the what-ifs. I'm trying to ..read more

I remember when I met you at a narcotics anonymous meeting. We saw each other in the same room and it was embarrassingly electric. You asked around about me. They told you “don’t do it”, but you ignored them. You were only 21, I was 25, but I thought you were older than me. You were so handsome. I would stare at you when you shared in the meetings. When the group would thank you by your name, all in unison, I would throw in a pet name at the end. To get your attention. No one wanted us together. They cared about us as individuals and everyone could see the electricity and knew it would end ba ..read more

I'm barely 2 months after my Love died. Had a very few good days but most has been incredibly hard and felt like there's no way out. It's been crying nonstop, feeling lost and not seeing a point to life. I miss Him so much, He was the light of my life, had the most beautiful laugh and personality. But the grief is ending me slowly, every day feels like i die inside little by little. Does it get easier? Or less heavy? How long do i need to hold on like this? submitted by /u/alwaysforever0226 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

It's been 5 years and 2 weeks since I woke up and found my husband of 30 years lying lifeless on the kitchen floor. It's been the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. It does get better with time...I promise it does. It may not seem like it ever will but it will get easier. A couple days ago I got approved for spousal benefits. I get a check because my husband is gone....wtf is that? I know he paid in to social security I get that.. He's dead and I get money....it just feels yucky. submitted by /u/Designer_Tour7308 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

It’s going to be his first birthday since he died in a few weeks, he’s been gone 10 months. I’m going to spend it with my family from both sides. I just think it’s important that we are together for it, I’m going to bbq (weather permitting). He loved ice cream cake and I’m contemplating getting one. What are your guys thoughts on that? Is it tasteless? Edit: thank you guys for your replies, I’ll get the cake! submitted by /u/bauer8765 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I think the worst part (aside from the obvious) is begging, pleading, screaming for someone to care and getting your hand slapped away. I know no one will care for me like he did. I know no one will give a damn about my feelings or well being the way he did. But fck me is it so much to ask for people to treat you like the friend they say you are? I'm having such a hard time. I'm between his death anniversary and his birthday. A month and change apart. I'm crumbling to pieces. NO ONE GIVES A SINGLE SHT ABOUT ME. I have so much love and I give it out so willingly, but it's never ever reciprocat ..read more

Hi all. My partner died when I was 5 months pregnant. My Bub is now 7 weeks old and I’m thinking about how to explain to him in the future about his daddy passing away. It kills me inside that he never got to meet his dad but I know atleast he won’t know any different, like some other children who have lost their parents ? But are there any books that parents on here would recommend for small children about death/loss/grief etc? I thought it might be a gentle way to have these discussions. submitted by /u/UnlikelyAd2597 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more