What is your legacy going to be? What an awesome question!  I wonder what my late husband, Donnie, would have thought about this question.  I think he would have considered his strong work ethics to be his legacy to our children. When I come across some snippet of information that interests me I copy or cut it out and stick it in a folder where it resides – a reminder of something that I might want to remember in the future. Every so often I rummage through the file folder just to see what is there. I found an old article that asked “What is your legacy?” and it got me thinking. I st ..read more

Widows need support and encouragement. These 7 people are key to your grieving in a healthy way.  I talk about this on page 3 of my Relationship Guide, which is Free as a download from my website. Below is a link to my YouTube video made in 2018 about, “The 7 Most Important People in Your Life”. Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows YouTube for widows, the sisterhood of widows, widow support, grieving, how to grieve, grief, life of a widow, #thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve, #widowshelpingwidows The post Widows Need Support first appeared ..read more

We were married but now we are single and our lives are forever changed.  People often ask me how I handled being a wife and then a widow.  The truth is I didn’t handle it well, but I thought I was.  You see, when you lose a loved one you go numb and don’t think clearly.  That is way it’s always good advice to not make any major changes for at least one year. If you are having trouble than support groups can do two things for you.  First it gives you a chance to listen to others that are grieving.  You pick up on their feelings and it helps in your own recovery to ..read more

I’m feeling disconnected from God because of my grief.  What can I do? It’s not unusual for everything in your life to be unbalanced, even your faith, when you lose a loved one. Spiritual Symptoms When Grieving: Anger at God A crisis of faith in your religious beliefs Difficulty in making sense of their death Searching for understanding of life without their loved one Grief and loss evoke a number of different feelings and not just anger.  You may feel disconnected, numbness, relief, peace or even joy.  None of these feelings are right or wrong – they are just your personal fe ..read more

Things to tell family and friends. This YouTube video will help you know what to tell your family and friends so that they can be there to support and encourage you. As a widow I used to think that my family and friends should be able to understand my grief. But now could they, when I couldn’t even understand it myself. Below is the link to my YouTube video done in 2020 about “Things to tell family and friends.” Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows YouTube for widows, the sisterhood of widows, widow support, grieving, how to grieve, grief, life of a widow, #thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #g ..read more

Take a Leap of Faith – What if you had no fear of failing, of being alone or being disapproved by others?   All this is the worst case scenario that we all fear when we take a leap of faith. It’s not unusual for widows to base almost every decision on fear of rejection, poverty or making a mistake.  You gain more clarity by getting into the habit of imagining the choices you could make if you had no fear.  Going to a fearless place in your imagination will show you clearly which decisions have energy and which are not worth going for. Is it worth taking a leap of faith for ..read more

A widow asked me:  I lost my spouse last year and I still feel unbalanced.  When will I start to feel better?          Everyone is different but there are some factors that might contribute to how long it takes: The trauma associated with their death Any unresolved issues Support from family and friends How social you are Your willingness to deal with your grief and not avoid it Bereavement is a process and you need tools to work your way through your grief.  Reaching out to others is the first step towards dealing with your grief a ..read more

Bouts of Insecurity – Understand that it happens to the best of us:  we are blithely going about our day, feeling just fine, when suddenly, out of the blue something comes along and knocks us for a loop.  These moments can seriously make us doubt how well we are handling our grief and cast a pall over everything else we do. At times when so many of us are riddled with self-doubts it’s hard to get inspired (that’s called being human) so we need to draw on our discipline and bare it all.  More often than not we will feel infinitely better afterwards, both physically and psychologi ..read more

How Do I Interview a Grief Counselor?  You need to feel comfortable with any Grief Counselor that you’re considering hiring. Ask lots of questions in your search to find someone that fits your own life style. Where are you located? Is it close to a public transportation system? (needed if no car) Is parking available? Is it wheel chair accessible? What are your hours of operation? Do you have any immediate openings? If you can’t fit me in, can you recommend other qualified therapists? How long is a session? What is your cancellation policy? What are your fees? Do you prefer to be paid at ..read more

“Do men grieve differently than women when they lose their spouse?” Although we all experience grief when we lose a loved one, women seem more likely than men to express their feelings of loss.  But just because women are more expressive it doesn’t mean that they grieve more than men do. One theory is that men understate their grief, meaning they experience grief just as much as women but they don’t seek counsel for it.  Another possible reason for the difference is often how social expectations and gender roles affect how we grieve. Ever since play school girls have always surrounde ..read more