If you haven’t yet experienced a significant loss, it is a pain like nothing you have ever felt. Often, people are surprised by the intensity of grief and how hard it is to deal with. For years, the “stages of grief” myth has made people believe that grief is an orderly process of moving through distinct emotions that lead to acceptance and peace. The study that produced the “stages of grief” was done on patients who had been told that they had a terminal illness, not people who had just lost a loved one. The truth is that grief is not orderly and peaceful; it is chaotic and painful. If you h ..read more

This blog is an introduction to this exciting new therapy that I am now able to offer called Brainspotting. When I first heard about Brainspotting, I was intrigued. Now that I have completed phases 1 and 2 of the Brainspotting training, I am convinced. This revolutionary new therapy to help clients get “unstuck” is powerful, especially for those who aren’t making progress with talk therapy alone. It’s common in therapy to have clients who are “blocked.” They can’t talk about and work through their sadness, anxiety, fear, depression, or inability to move forward because they honestly don’t kno ..read more

People often excuse an addiction by calling it a habit. Someone will light up a cigarette and say, “I know this is a bad habit and I should quit.” 70% of smokers want to quit. If it’s just a bad habit, why can’t they? Or someone gets drunk on weekends says, “I got into this habit in college but I’m getting too old for this.” One in six American adults binge drinks. Why can’t they quit now that they’re older? Someone else might keep taking prescription pills after the condition they were prescribed for has passed, and say, “Now that my shoulder’s healed, I guess I should stop taking them, but ..read more

The desire for sex is normal. All humans have it. That’s why we’re still on the planet. Enjoying sex is also normal, as normal as enjoying good food. Why would anyone do it if it wasn’t enjoyable? God designed sex to be something so pleasurable that every generation would “multiply and fill the earth.” And it’s not just the physical pleasure, but the emotional pleasure of being close to someone you love and being shown love by that person in return. It’s a beautiful thing. But some people cross a line between healthy sex and out-of-control sex and get trapped in a sex addiction. How do you kn ..read more

In 2020, drug and alcohol addiction in the U.S. was starting to wane when COVID-19 came on the scene with its lockdowns, shelter-at-home orders, etc. which set off a domino effect of mental health consequences. One of those effects was a 23% increase in alcohol consumption and a 16% increase in drug consumption. And those statistics have continued to rise. Almost 165 million Americans are addicted to drugs (including alcohol and tobacco). If you are in that number, you are not alone. One of the first steps to overcoming addiction is understanding it. An unexamined problem is like a monster ma ..read more

Parents of preschoolers and young children can relate to this scene. You’re at Grandma and Grandpa’s swimming. Your 4-year-old son suddenly declares that he’s done and wants to go in. You say, “But we’re having a good time. Let’s swim a little longer.” He melts down insisting that he’s done and wants to go inside by himself. What is going on? He may be an overstimulated child with a need for some quiet time. The Overstimulated Child Needs A Regular Down Time With tablets, cell phones, music players, gaming systems, TV, and everything else that children in our modern society are exposed to, it ..read more

Someone asked a counselor, “Do you think every couple needs marriage counseling?” The answer was, “Every couple could benefit from marriage counseling, even if they have a great relationship.” If you are in marriage counseling, or have finished, congratulations. It was worth it, wasn’t it? You received some insights, tools, and new ways of relating that will help you have a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. But they won't do you any good unless you use your new relationship skills after marriage counseling to build a love nest that will last. After Marriage Counseling: Use the skill of ..read more

Do you show signs of sex addiction? Let’s be clear, sex is not bad. It’s a gift of God to strengthen the marital bond and produce children. But like any gift of God, when it’s misused it can enslave the person it was meant to bless. The Latin word “addictus” meant a person that had become enslaved by a ruling of the Roman court. That is the root of our word “addiction,” someone who has become enslaved to a substance or behavior. Sex addiction, by definition, is a compulsive obsession with escalating hypersexual activity, which causes problems that the person disregards. There are many factors ..read more

No doubt, as a parent you are aware of the problem of bullying and the damage it can cause to your child’s self-esteem. Bullying can also cause anxiety and/or depression symptoms in children. It can cause them to lose the motivation to want to attend school, socialize, and be with their peers. Every parent knows the harm of bullying and would like to somehow make things so that their child is never bullied, but that’s not realistic. Unfortunately, it’s not a matter of if your child will be bullied, but when and how you will handle it. This blog is to help you talk about bullying with your chi ..read more

As I write this blog, the surprise hit movie, “The Sound Of Freedom,” is in theaters. To avoid spoilers, I’ll just say that it is about a mission to rescue children from sex traffickers. Child sexual abuse is a topic that should receive more attention than it does. It is a worldwide crisis. Yet many people are uninformed about it and even carry some misconceptions about it. Here are some disturbing facts about child sexual abuse that, I hope, will clear up some of those misconceptions. Fact #1: Most sexually abused children do not tell an adult Most people think that with all the years of tea ..read more