November is National Family Caregiver's Month, and it's been a while since I've written about caregiving, so I wanted to take a few minutes to do just that. Family caregivers aren't "professionals" per se. While many of us have the skills that only years of experience can provide, most of us didn't choose this role. We're simply family members who have rearranged our lives to provide care for our loved ones. We carry the weight of our family's needs on our shoulders. Our loads are unbearably heavy. And sometimes we drop it all over the place. But we always gather it back together, find a way t ..read more

Anxiety always runs high this time of year.  Even though it's been nine years, I can still so clearly remember the awfulness of that day - July 27, 2013 - the day that started out so perfectly with friends at the beach and ended so horrifically with my husband in the ICU ... paralyzed from the neck down, a machine breathing for him. I'm grateful to have tacked on another year and moved further beyond that day, beyond that first year when everything was so new and so frightening. And while life is still overwhelming - living with a complex medical condition that requires a constant high le ..read more

It's been almost two weeks since we came home from Jeff's most recent hospital stint, and his recovery has been slow. He hasn't even felt good enough to get out of bed and into his wheelchair, and that's taken a toll on all of us. We've been through a lot of rough patches during our time living with Jeff's spinal cord injury, and this is one of the tougher ones. I feel numb, like I'm just alive to try to make him feel better, but nothing I do works. And when these patches crop up in our life, I find myself wanting more. I want a better life for us. I want something different for us. Something ..read more

If you're a fan of the Los Angeles Chargers, you might have heard about one of quarterback Justin Herbert's pet peeves: abandoned carts. I'm not talking the virtual kind. I'm talking about the real, physical shopping cart that people push out of stores, unload the contents from into their vehicles, then oftentimes ... just leave right there in the parking lot - or push into those striped lines next to the accessible parking spaces thinking it'll be out of the way (it won't - and I'll get to that in a minute). In an article for ESPN, analyst Mina Kimes wrote about a time that Herbert's teamma ..read more

Back in early spring of 2013, we decided to spruce up our backyard. We bought heavy bags of wood chips that Jeff heaved in from the garage and spread underneath the trees lining our little enclosed backyard patio. We also bought two wooden planters that we filled with soil. And I can remember kneeling down with little Evie, who was still in preschool and going to turn 4 soon, and we planted sunflower seeds. We'd never planted anything before, so we were very excited to watch the sunflowers grow. Evie's patience waned, but I was diligent in checking on those flowers. When the buds started to pe ..read more

 This picture was taken earlier this week when I took our daughter to an outdoor mall for her birthday. She was beaming - so excited to be spending time outside the house with mom who was poised and ready to spoil her for her 12th birthday. And while my smile is genuine, there's a lot hiding behind it. Earlier that morning, my husband woke up in extreme pain from a stomach issue that has recurringly plagued him for the last several years. An hour before Evie and I left for our outing, Jeff looked at me and said, "We're probably going to have to go to the hospital this evening." I nodded ..read more

In Nevada, it is a felony to practice medicine without a license. It is illegal and punishable by fines and/or imprisonment to perform unlicensed nursing in our state. And yet, this is what I do every day. This issue was recently brought to my attention through a Facebook post written by a woman who I don't know personally, but who I respect deeply for her unyielding advocacy for her medically complex daughter.  Dawn Oates' voice resonates loudly for all families who are forced to provide skilled nursing care for their loved ones, and who do so without pay, without recognition, and to t ..read more

July 27, 2020 marks seven years since Jeff's spinal cord injury. I don't think I will ever be able to shake that feeling there on the beach, watching my husband be pulled limp and lifeless from the water. The terror of thinking he was dead, the relief when I heard him talking, the confusion as to why he couldn't move, and the heavy realization that I'd just witnessed my husband break his neck are feelings embedded deep within my being. Those feelings resurface now and then, but in truth, we've moved beyond them being a part of our daily life. As with any life-changing incident, you go throug ..read more

It's Father's Day here tomorrow, and I want to dedicate this post to the first man I ever loved: my Dad. * * * * * Neither Jeff nor I grew up with grandfathers in our lives. Jeff never knew his, and by the time I was five years old, both of mine were gone. Evie is lucky to have four grandparents who love her - and she loves - very much.  But there's one who holds a very special place in her heart and in our life. When he pulls into the garage and opens the door to come into the house, he is met with a greeting from Evie that no one else receives. No matter where she is in the house ..read more

I wish I could say that the new year has started off with a bang - that we're all feeling good and heading into this new decade with smiles on our faces. But writing that would be a lie. This month has been hard. This last week has been incredibly trying. Maybe it has something to do with the heaviness felt, especially here in the US, since the tragic helicopter crash. When things like that happen, life for everyone else is supposed to take on a new perspective. Make us feel grateful for the things we have. And I am. My god, I am truly and deeply grateful for my husband and my daughter ..read more