Embracing My Choice to Walk Away From Insensitive People
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
It is not my responsibility to teach others how to be good people. This realization became crystal clear when attempting to outline on paper my grievances with a personal relationship this morning. When the words became stunted, wouldn’t parade across the page in the manner I am accustomed to, I took note. Though I could have easily attributed the absence of flowing thoughts to any number of physiological expressions of fatigue, I knew it was more than that. There was really just no place to start. I am not, nor should I be, adept at teaching another human how to be a good human. There is a ..read more
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Survival Has Become My New Sparkle
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
I have a confession to make: Sometimes I’ll fake a smile. I’ll tug the corners of my mouth taut while my wide eyes stare into the camera. Getting through the day with cerebral palsy and other complex health conditions — the latest of which has me pushing an IV pole up and down the hallway several times a day — is exhausting. An indescribable fatigue overwhelms me and leaves me with the sense that I’m not really here in the now. After recently spending a week in the hospital, I’ve been feeling especially absent. The constant beeping of machines and monitoring of my existence by medical person ..read more
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I Finally Got My Happy New Year’s Eve
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
I’ve got a bad habit of collecting memories I don’t have. I adorn the shelves of my mind with milestones I’ve never reached, organizing them into lavish frames that contrast the emptiness inside. The developmental experiences comprising the majority of days for so many of my peers remain nothing but wonderments to me. From my earliest childhood memories, I can vividly remember feeling as though I was missing out because of my cerebral palsy. Literally and symbolically cast to the sidelines, my differences often seemed to preclude me from participating in life. Even as I tiptoed into spaces t ..read more
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Redefining Disability as We Know It
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
“‘Disabled’ is not a bad word.” I see this phrase pasted across social media with increasing frequency. As much as I appreciate people with disabilities sharing their perspectives, I have to admit, this particular arrangement of words makes my skin quiver. “Disabled” feels like a bad word. I was raised by a pint-sized woman with an effusive heart and a strong moral compass. She consciously and subconsciously demonstrated to me that I was not disabled. I had a disability, just like I also had blond hair. She taught me that my disability was one characteristic comprising my external appearance ..read more
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The Beauty of Interdependence
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
Independence is a word I heard tossed around frequently as a child. It hovered above me at Individualized Education Plan meetings in elementary school, and it filled pages for my goals in physical, occupational, and speech therapy. In almost every therapeutic and medical realm, independence appeared to be a goal others had outlined for me. When you’re a 4-year-old trying to master putting one foot in front of the other while enclosed in stiff, slimy orthotics like tightly packed anchovies, you’re not thinking about steps toward independence. You’re just following directions and trying not to ..read more
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When My Fight for an Inclusive World Came Full Circle
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
Inclusion. I see this word flickering across social media frequently these days. As popular as it is on Instagram and Facebook, it was unpopular during most of my years growing up. Yet its significance in the quality of my life, and for the possibilities that illuminated my mind, was enormous. My classmates made it clear they were afraid to share crayons with me for fear of catching whatever malady they thought was swimming through my veins. Feeling deeply wounded and sidelined, I could not understand why my fellow kindergartners did not want to play tetherball with me at recess. My mother a ..read more
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Watching Dreams Come Alive on the Big Screen
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
When I heard the news about the debut of my town’s first drive-in movie theater a few weeks ago, I was elated. A montage of dreamy snapshots flickered across my mind. I pictured myself in the company of friends, tucked in a fluffy blanket. With a canopy of twinkling stars dotting the sky, we would exchange lighthearted banter while the movie flickered in the background. Reality. Check. “Who do you think you are?” my mind castigates me. Not in this lifetime. Complicated health issues have kept me isolated for the better part of the last decade. I’ve traded my social life for my pulse, often w ..read more
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Let’s Talk About Sex and Disability
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
“Can you even have sex?” Scooting back on my massage table, I brace myself against the wall. Taken aback by the abrupt question, I consider my response. “Yes, I can.” The truth is I am embarrassed to admit I’ve had this conversation with a few men. Having a physical disability and related health issues has made dating seemingly impossible. Battling antiquated ideas about what physical disability means for sexuality is something I took up as an undergraduate honors thesis. But however idealistic my aims for educating the world are, I’m still just a single woman with a boatload of fatigue and ..read more
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Speaking Up for Academic Empowerment and Success
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
As a new school year approaches, I want to share some of my own experiences with education. Navigating school with a disability, especially higher education, can lead you down a confusing path. From a young age, I knew I would go to college. I envisioned college to be a beautiful place that was perfectly cultivated for learning. Enthralled with the vision I had shaped in my mind, I became perplexed when my teachers, therapists, and doctors didn’t seem to share my dream. To the contrary, it seemed as though they had already predicted my future as one devoid of agency, and definitely devoid of ..read more
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The Extraordinary Doctor at My Front Door
Cerebral Palsy News Today
by Briana Beaver
3y ago
“Can you make me a coffee and cream when I get there?“ The text flashes on the screen of my phone and I smile. Replying yes, I eagerly await the arrival of my visitor on a Saturday night. He appears shortly after dusk, the sound of his car rambling up the long driveway sending me to the front door. Swinging it open, I rush outside to greet him. The hubbub of gregarious laughter, the exchange of hilarious facial expressions, and of course, coffee, ensues. You’ll probably be surprised to learn that my guest also is my doctor. As unlikely as it is to have a doctor willing to travel more than an ..read more
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