how can i stop ruminating? a lot of the bad stuff has come back to me today and it’s really fucking hard. the trauma bond is there as in “why wasn’t i good enough”, but then i’m also thinking of all of the times he cheated. why do they fucking cheat? like over a year of cheating and manipulation? mostly with the same girl too, and he told me after the final discard how he really wanted to end up with her - and his bad karma is that it didn’t work out with her. WHILE HE HAD BEEN DATING ME. just having a hard day. please help! submitted by /u/InsuranceUnhappy132 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

My boyfriend 25M likes to touch me when I’m sleeping and also take pictures of me too when I’m vulnerable and obviously not conscious. He never takes pics of me when I’m awake and looking pretty to keep in his phone, he just takes them when I’m sleeping and then also likes to watch me sleep too sometimes. We have been together for almost a year and actually have a baby on the way but yeah he’s been doing this with me for awhile now. I - 27F can only imagine what else he does but these are the two I know for sure because he sometimes shows me the pics (as he knows I get upset about it) and som ..read more

He had an attitude and decided to cancel our plans. He was being very rude so I had somewhat of an attitude after but I tried my best. We got together , he said I responded to a question nasty & then dropped me off back home, so I went to meet my friends. Now…. He told me off and said he doesn’t care what I do and , ignored me then blocked me and said he doesn’t want to be together anymore. Which he tells me all the time when he’s mad. So now, he left me and ruined our plans, blamed me for not sitting home and acted like I went out and f’d the world, and then says he’s done and leave him ..read more

Recently, I realized my ex may have been a covert narcissist. While going through old messages, I noticed that around 60% of our conversations consisted of him sending screenshots of things he wanted to buy or had bought. I occasionally shared my wishlist too, but his focus on material possessions was overwhelming. From clothes and sneakers to Pokémon plushies and tech gadgets, he'd send daily updates on his purchases, even during periods when he was emotionally distant. Looking back, I see how unusual this behavior was. Has anyone else experienced similar patterns with their narcissistic exe ..read more

TW Idk. My brain is fucked. I'm broken. Unblocked my first nex out of pure morbid curiosity. He's fucking thriving without me. All these people commenting on his pics saying he's a great guy. It was me all along I think. I'm just exhausted. I forced an unwell man into a relationship because I found him attractive. That's all, I was so selfish. submitted by /u/Responsible-Fox-1364 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I see post where others state how they struggle to keep themselves from stalking their nex social media after discard. My ex disappeared completely. They deleted all their phone numbers and social media. Even when we first starting dating, they had no social media or past (no family or photos).They created a profile to reconnect with family and friends when we were together, but even then, they were so secretive about their past. The only past I knew was that they were abused during their childhood, they got cheated on, and they loved someone so much but lost them and "were never the same". B ..read more

For years, my nex would run to one of my oldest friends to try to turn her against me whenever we would have an argument. He would always go to her with a sob story and paint me as the villain, even when he was the one in the wrong. Eventually, he got so good at manipulation and lying that he started to get into the heads of all of our mutual friends. Now whenever I tell the truth about what my nex was doing to me, they assume I’m overreacting. My nex even went so far to ask me who is my closest friend and tried to “recruit” them into their lies too. He basically has tried turning everyone ag ..read more

I am more than 1 year NC with my nex and I have healed quite a lot but I remember what pain I went through. How much I cried and how much I begged in front of God to take this pain away from me. The trauma bond was really so severe that it made me bend to my knees. I sometimes think that if she had died I might have felt less pain than the pain she caused me by cheating and lying. Her insensitivity towards my feelings and emotions hurt me so deep I still feel the pain today and it still hurts. I am not sure that this pain will be 100% healed even in upcoming time. I am with everyone who is go ..read more

Did anyone eventually decide to leave a narc and then everything from that moment kept justifying the decision. I told my wife I want to leave and the narc tantrum that has followed has cleared up any guilt I felt and any doubts I had. I have been thrown the kitchen sink, blame shifting, gaslighting, anger, guilt tripping, silent treatment to mean a few but each time she tries one of these I see it for what it is, just pure manipulation and immature behavior. Not once has she tried to understand or validate my feelings. In fact any feelings I have expressed are just turned against me. It’s no ..read more

This is a question I’ve struggled with for several years. I think a lot of other emotional abuse victims have the same questions. None of us are mental health professionals, so we can’t actually make a concrete analysis. We might fall back on the old adage, “if it walks like a duck…” But the question persists, “What if I am wrong?” Here’s what dispels this question for me. If I feel hurt, broken, tired, unheard, rubbed wrong, lied to, tricked, or betrayed and I am not able to voice my feelings with my SO in a constructive manner without fear of reprisal, then I am in a relationship with an un ..read more