Am I a bitch?
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
Am I a bitch?   I wonder.   I stumbled upon something I wrote 8 years ago, when I was in the middle of a training experience that was horribly traumatic, due to the fact that I was in the process of realizing I was gay, in the process of realizing I had to leave my husband, in the process of my entire world crumbling such that I could rebuild it the way it needed to be built, and also, in the midst of all that, was being scapegoated by my fellow trainees because I would...say honest things and thought that others were being honest when they spoke to me. That's a bit of a simplificat ..read more
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The book is "coming out" May 9!
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
Lovelies! I have exciting news, FINALLY! My memoir is being Beta read right now (thanks so much to the volunteers!) and the e-book is available for pre-order now on Amazon! Hooray! Thanks to everyone for your patience for the many years that I've been talking about this book and not actually finishing it. It was tough, y'all. But the kind words that so many of you have sent me over the years, as I've gone through many ups and downs, reminding me that my words and my story matter and have helped some of you, and might help even more people, are the fuel that kept me going and have helped ..read more
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The Hard Way
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
The past few months have been full of change and disappointment and realizations about how this world, and the people in it*, really are. It's been sobering and sad. But, there are some things I know now: 1. People really have a hard time when someone is honest and says no when they are not able to do those things themselves. This is very, very threatening to people. How dare I set boundaries if they (mistakenly) believe that they can't?! How dare I. 2. People think that they have authority to tell other people how they should be and how they should live in this world, with seemingly ze ..read more
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Confessional
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
I need to write about what happened to me in the past two years. I don't want to. I need to put these words down, though. I need to get them out of my body, stop carrying them. They have been stalking me lately. Tap-tap-tapping on my brain. You need to look at me. You can't ignore me forever. I'm hurting you. I need to write about this because until I do I can't process it. Until I do I don't really have to process it.  I have to process it. TW: alcoholism -- For almost a year and a half, I was in a chaotic, dramatic, emotionally manipulative (abusive? I don't know...) relatio ..read more
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Poem.
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
I am so angry. I'm angry at this world that I was thrust into, unwittingly. That we all are dragged into, not by choice. Is it a gift? Is it? I am angry that it feels like in order to survive this place, this world, this country, I need to feel less, see less, know less, care less. It feels impossible to keep going otherwise, sometimes. What is this place? Why is this place. Living is so easy and so hard. For every solitary being. Solitary. Being. I am so angry about it. Follow @edie_wyatt ..read more
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Dear Maximum Security Diary--Part 1
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
Lovelies! I finally found my journals, which I feared were lost forever when my parents moved while I was away at college--I NEVER got over it and pestered my father for about 15 years until he finally found the missing box holding all of my young little musings. I've been reading through them and...they're hilarious. And kind of sad. So, you know, me in a nutshell. I've decided to share some selections here, partly to give the people what they want (I feel guilty about not writing much in the past 2 years) and partly because it's just funny, and partly because I'm avoiding working on the bo ..read more
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Gut (aka INFJ woes)
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
I haven't written about this here before, but I have a confession. I believe very strongly in the Myers-Briggs personality types, and... My name is Edie, and I'm an INFJ. This means a lot of things. But what it means most of all is that my "gut" stays telling me things I don't want to hear. It's always right, too. It annoys the fuck out of me. Often, what it's telling me is "This is not good for you. You need to step back. You need to step away. This is not what you need or want. You don't have to keep doing this. You don't like this. It's not right." Then, like clockwork, my brain: "Bu ..read more
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Grey
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
Hi lovelies. This is one of those posts where I'm not in therapy so I'm writing instead. Feel free to skip right over this bleakness. I feel like I want to scream and rage at the top of my lungs. All the time. "I'M NOT OKAY! HOW CAN NOBODY TELL! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" It feels like that's what's in my head, overpowering all other thoughts, all of the time. All. Of. The. Time. I think I'm depressed. My depression presents as irritability. I forget this and then am surprised when I realize that the fact that I've been pissed off at every single thing, living and non-living for months ..read more
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I'm (well, the New Lesbian Podcast) is back!
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
Hello lovelies! Well. It's been a minute. Life has finally settled down enough (i.e. I have achieved the Major Career Goals I've been working toward for the past 10 years) and I have enough distance from my breakup with Elle (we're still close friends, btw, and I'm sure I'll have lots to say about that, and how very lesbian it all is, in another post later) to finally finish editing an episode of the podcast that we recorded almost a year ago, with some of our lovely friends. It's called "Queer Round Table" and it's a great episode, full of a lot of interesting topics, and a lot of laughs, an ..read more
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Can't not.
New Lesbian
by Edie
3y ago
Well. I finally NEED to write. Why, you may wonder? This weekend I'm packing up all of my stuff and moving it out of Elle's apartment. Elle's apartment. Not ours, anymore. Was it ever? I don't live there anymore. I haven't for awhile and it's better that I don't. Of course. But. The fact that this is what my weekend will be, that this weekend I will be packing my self out of that space where so much happened, where so much was gained, and lost, has rattled me. I feel awful. Depressed. I think I'm dehydrated. I feel fuzzy and sad and anxious and lonely and also ready for it to just be d ..read more
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