It’s often said that the past is never really finished with us. This truth can be especially powerful when it comes to our intimate relationships. Could the partner who was unfaithful to you years ago be affecting your ability to trust the partner you’re with now? Do memories of your parents’ relationship have an influence on the way you manage the relationship you’re currently in? The short answer to these questions is yes. When we experience pain in early relationships, the effects stay with us. This is especially true for anyone who has experienced serious trauma such as infidelity, physi ..read more

Have you noticed that during the busiest times of the year, your marriage often feels less satisfying and supportive? It’s no secret that life transitions place an extra strain on our most important relationships. And often, we’re just so busy coping that we don’t take time to notice what’s happening – or not happening – with the ones we love and depend on so much. You might not think of back-to-school time as an especially tough challenge for your marriage, but it definitely can be. Preparing for another school year draws together issues of time management, money, work vs. family life and t ..read more

Are you shocked to find out that your partner is attracted to other people? Really, it should be no surprise – since you likely check other people out as well. It’s totally normal to be aware of others who catch your eye and even to admire the way they look or behave. However, this reality isn’t always easy for married couples to accept. A study conducted by researchers at Indiana University reveals that 70 percent of women in relationships admit to having serious attractions to other men. Note that these were full-on crushes, where the women flirted, daydreamed and engaged in other amorous ..read more

Capturing the story of your relationship on paper can be a rewarding way for couples to explore the life they have created together. In fact, many marriage therapists recommend journaling as a means of cultivating closeness – and working through the tough spots that are a natural part of any couple’s story. GETTING STARTED WITH YOUR COUPLES JOURNAL There are many journals designed for couples, from the special ones that help you capture your first year together to styles that focus on gratitude or shared goals. But the journal you choose can be as simple as a spiral notebook, or even an onli ..read more

Have you ever returned from a special trip with your spouse, only to wonder if your relationship is falling apart? If so, you’re not alone. A study from the University of Washington shows that conflicts and even divorces tend to peak in March and August, the periods following summer and winter vacations. It seems that divorce is, in fact, a seasonal phenomenon, driven by a calendar of domestic rituals that govern family behavior. Vacations, it turns out, may make underlying tensions more obvious to married couples, leading to clashes and, in many cases, divorce proceedings. VACATIONS MAY REV ..read more

No two divorces are exactly the same – but the arguments that lead to a split are remarkably similar, marriage counselors say. Here are 5 common arguments that couples therapists frequently hear about, along with their best advice for easing the tensions that can break a relationship for good.  YOU DON’T APPRECIATE ME This statement is part of a typical yet troublesome path for couples. You fall in love, build a life together, then proceed to get way too comfortable and take everything for granted. Couples therapists say that being secure and comfortable in your relationship is positive – u ..read more

One of the most positive aspects of being in a committed relationship is feeling secure in your partner’s love. It’s wonderful to know that we are desired and valued for whom we truly are – and that our bond is strong because of the love we give our partners in return. Still, we’re only human, and there will be moments when our commitment is tested. In the life of every married couple, feelings of jealousy and competition will sometimes arise. The trigger may be as simple as the reappearance of a past romantic partner or a late-night work session with an attractive colleague. Or it may be pa ..read more

Married couples begin their lives together with high hopes, believing they will be able to weather tough times with help from each other. Yet many don’t realize that conflicts over money can weaken and even break the strongest of relationships. Did you know that fighting about finances is a leading predictor of divorce? This is especially true when money conflicts begin early in a marriage, research shows. Couples that are on the same page in many other areas can become angry and argumentative when they find it hard to reconcile financial habits and beliefs that should have been discussed be ..read more

If you’re packing up your treasured possessions in preparation for a move, it’s wise to think about how to protect your marriage from getting damaged too. Married and committed couples don’t always think about the fact that their relationship is also being shipped to a new neighborhood – or even a new country. The impact of pressures and shocks on your partnership can take a heavy toll, one that sometimes ends in divorce court. One researcher who focused on the impact of moving on couples found that nearly half had not given their relationship a lot of thought when planning their relocation ..read more

Gift-giving is a big deal in our culture. Throughout the year we are expected to have the perfect present for birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s and Father’s Day and yes, Valentine’s Day. In fact, it seems that planning, buying and sharing gifts has become a focus of modern life – especially within a marriage. But is a cashmere sweater, a diamond or other luxury gift the only way to express our love? Is sexy lingerie a present the recipient really wants, or is it mostly about the giver? With all the noise out there, maybe we’ve lost track of what gifts really represent in our relationships ..read more