By: Greg Douglas, LPC, LMHC Modern relationships have common themes that come up time and again in couples counseling. The area of sex is often a hot topic and the differences in the partner’s level of desire for sex is a common complaint. Sexual Desire Discrepancy simply means that each member of the couple has opposing levels of desire to have sex. Perhaps Partner A would prefer to have sex 5-6 times per week and Partner B is happy to have sex once a month. This difference in desire doesn’t have to spell disaster for your relationship. With the right mindset and a healthy approach, this area ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC, LMHC In my years of working with parents I have often heard similar stories. Parents reporting feelings of worry, anxiety, fear, and hopelessness all related to their child’s behavior. Of course it’s difficult to watch your child struggle in any way, and we as parents often feel the emotional sting when things aren’t as we’d want. The question in my mind is often whether we as parents are making things harder on ourselves than they need to be. Are we taking on too much pressure in our roles as parents? Do we think we have to find the perfect answers or interventions to g ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC Self-Awareness is essentially knowing your own experience. Most of us fail to recognize our own experience which leaves us to focus on being critical of our partner and their actions. Learning about your own inner experience allows you the ability to speak up and have a voice, yet keep things focused on yourself. This skill is immensely important because to give good feedback, you need to speak up from the ‘I’ position. There are 3 components to having solid self-awareness and they are knowing your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Thoughts To learn more about your thoughts ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC, LMHC Relationships are fluid and continuously moving through one of three phases at any given time. The three phases of relationships are Connection, Disconnection, and Repair. I’ll tell you a bit about each phase including what to expect as your relationship passes through and which phase to focus on if your relationship feels stuck. Phase #1: Connection Connection is great. We all love connection. When your relationship is in this phase all feels right with the world. You and your partner seem to be “on the same page.” You have a good sense of how your partner is feeli ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC Have you noticed your partner becoming more critical lately? Do they seem to find fault with just about everything you do and bring up their grievances again and again? If so, I don’t envy you. This is a tough place to be, and many people think there’s no good way out. I’m here to tell you there is likely a good way out, but you’ll need to know how to change your view of the situation. What’s the Criticism About? Here’s a golden nugget of relational wisdom for you. Behind every complaint there is a hidden request. So, your partner is being more and more critical. You coul ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC, LMHC Sounds like a simple question, right? Feeling shame can’t be a healthy thing, most of us feel like crap when shame shows up! Like most things in life we must avoid the urge to view everything through a black and white lens. Feeling shame doesn’t have to be all bad. So, if feeling shame isn’t all bad when is it good? The Good Feeling shame is a normal part of the human experience. Some experts believe that the ability to feel shame is what sets us apart from all other species. The ‘good’ kind of shame I speak of is called “healthy shame” or “appropriate shame.” This ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC, LMHC Learning how to ask for what you want in your relationship isn’t always so easy. Many of my clients (and myself included) have struggled to figure out how to ask our partners for more of what we want. In the following article I spell out the 3 levels of asking. Level #1: Invitation An invitation sounds pretty safe, right? Sure, who would be scared by a simple invitation? An invitation is simply an offer to do something. This is the lowest level of asking and this is where I would want you to start. It could look like: “Would you like to go for a walk with me?” “Woul ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC After years of working with couples healing from infidelity I’ve come to see patterns in the mistakes people make. In this article I’ll outline the 3 biggest mistakes I see unfaithful partners make and give you clarity on what to do instead. I’ve you’ve strayed, play close attention as the following article just might save your relationship. Mistake #1: Avoiding Talking About or Brining up the Betrayal Almost all unfaithful partners initially subscribe to the idea that the more than can avoid talking about or dealing with the infidelity the better. These people think that ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC, LMHC Is sex only meaningful when it’s spontaneous? Can scheduled sex still be authentic? In my years as a couples therapist, I’ve heard this debate quite a few times. Some partners think that sex should be as spontaneous as possible. These people often go so far as to discount sex when not purely spontaneous. Others believe that spontaneous sex is only for the movies. This crowd takes a more pragmatic approach and advocates for scheduled sex, so they get a chance to prepare themselves to be intimate. Who’s right in this age-old debate? Read on for my thoughts on this tri ..read more

By: Greg Douglas, LPC, LMHC Do you and your partner argue too much? Do you go back and forth for hours or even days without getting anything resolved or moving forward? Are these arguments surrounding the same old issues? If so, you’re not alone. Many, if not most, of the couples I work with report similar experiences when it comes to arguments. Arguments are not always a bad thing, and even the healthiest of relationships can expect to encounter their fair share of disagreements. The purpose of this article is not to show how to avoid arguments, as doing this will lead to a whole other set of ..read more