We need joy as we need air. We need love as we need water. We need each other as we need the earth we share. Maya Angelou In psychology, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs depicts a five-tiered model of human needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. It’s often depicted as a pyramid with the idea that lower-level needs must be satisfied before higher-order needs can be fulfilled. Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs Growing up, my physiological needs were largely met. I had food, drink, and shelter. I was clothed with the finest snea ..read more

Growing up with a busy, single mother and a rebellious, angry sister, I was used to not having help when I needed it, even when I asked for it. Eventually, I learned to internalize my struggle and figure out a solution. Externally, I looked like a clever, self-sufficient boy. Internally, I questioned whether I could depend on anyone for help or whether I was worthy of being helped at all. That early programming stayed with me all my life and served me. The truth was that I was a clever boy, and I could figure things out. Those skills helped me navigate my childhood and transition to adulthood ..read more

“And? And is just one word. How is that helpful?” Monnerat, K. (2022). And. kettlepot press. I had to look up how to do a proper book citation for the quote above. You may notice that the author’s last name looks familiar. Hint: it’s also my last name. That’s because the author is my wife, Kerri. A few years ago, she published And, a book about feelings, friendship, grace, and permission to feel multiple, conflicting feelings all at once. The book won a BookFest Award in 2023 and received positive reviews and comments about the impact of the story and the powerful three-letter word. As with m ..read more

I think, as parents, we all have ideas of doing better than our parents did. We want to pass along what we think our good qualities are to our children and not project our bad qualities on them. I have a hard time accepting compliments. I don’t let them in. I minimize their effect on me by deflecting. I smile, but I filter them. I minimize them by deflecting credit. Or by telling myself that the person is wrong. I know the other person is wrong. They don’t know all the details. If they did, they wouldn’t have complimented me. I punish myself with the words. Pride is a sin. I shrink when someon ..read more

A while ago, I wrote about getting therapy and how it allowed me to understand and change my patterns and behaviors so that I could have a healthier life and be more present with myself and my family. That awareness sparked another change that I made in my life a few years ago. I stopped drinking alcohol. For many people, alcohol is a “slippery slope” topic. I loved a glass of wine with dinner. The aroma, the taste, and how it is paired with a meal unlocked a different aspect of food. But as our life got harder, I found that I was turning to that glass of wine more as a way to dull the pain an ..read more

A while ago, I went with my parents to an appointment with an estate planning attorney. We’ve been pushing them to get a new will and legal documents since they moved to Pennsylvania, but it never seemed to be a priority. Over the last year, though, both of my parents have continued to struggle with health issues and it has only gotten worse. While their nest egg wasn’t substantial, they had specific wishes for what to do with their estate and it wasn’t enough to just tell me what they were. As I sat in the lawyer’s office and listened to his questions, I thought about our plan. Or rather, our ..read more

My son stepped out of the car and headed to the facility without waiting for us. The near-full moon lit his way from the parking lot to the bright light shining through the glass doors. I jogged to catch up with him. I said what dads are supposed to say. “Remember what you’ve learned.” “Try your best.” “Have fun.” He nodded as I held the door open, and we stepped through the threshold and into baseball evaluations. I scanned the waiting area while my son headed to the bench to prepare his gear. The kids were clustering in groups, classmates and previous teammates catching up on their year. The ..read more

Dear Clobazam, Well, it’s been a long road, Clobazam. May I call you Onfi? We’ve known each other long enough now that I feel like we can use our informal names. You can call me Dave. As I was saying, it’s been a long road. We’ve known each other for more than eight years. Our doctor introduced us when our son was in bad shape. She said although you were relatively new, you had been known to help other children like our son, and, let’s face it, we weren’t in a position to turn away anything that could potentially save him. I don’t need to tell you, but the list of side effects with benzodiazep ..read more

Other than dying, I think puberty is probably about as rough as it gets. Rick Springfield I can relate. We’ve faced both of the top items on Mr. Springfield’s list during our epilepsy journey. There were many times when we didn’t think our son would reach puberty. There were long stretches when our son was in status, when we were in the hospital, not knowing if there would be a tomorrow. Once his condition stabilized, even though his seizures not being under control led to an increased risk of SUDEP, we worried that when puberty did come, his seizures would get worse because of the hormones a ..read more

The lights went out. Conversations ended abruptly. We, along with the thousands of people who surrounded us, focused our attention in the same direction. A single voice echoed around us. We listened to the words…to the message. We understood. We were together. We were ready. The voice stopped. Silence. Then… Music. The speakers bellowed the energy from an electric guitar across the arena, over the crowd, into our ears. The bass washed over us with its low, repeating waves. The drum forced its thumping waves into our chest. The lights came on. The band was revealed. The lead singer stepped to t ..read more