The very sad, very tense funeral for my dear cousin Marie
I thought I had the flu...it was CANCER
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3y ago
 My cousin Marie had passed from NON SMALL CELL LUNG CANCER.  She was my oldest female cousin, and I loved her dearly. Yesterday, we were to celebrate her life with her funeral. Marie planned out her funeral, picked out her casket, and had arranged plans when she was diagnosed, about six years ago. At that time, she told me she would be lucky to get 2 years of life--well she crushed that goal!  Marie was a nurse (and worked oncology for a long time).  When I was sick with APL, Marie had talked to me on the phone and even sent in her best friend, Robin, to come check on m ..read more
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Waiting for a loved one to pass
I thought I had the flu...it was CANCER
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4y ago
Its 11 am on a rainy, stormy, lightening filled Sunday. My cousin, Marie, has been fighting lung cancer and now brain cancer for a few years.  She came home from the hospital on Friday night...in a hospice situation.  Her body is shutting down and she is worn. I thought it would happen yesterday.  I read a slew of texts Saturday morning saying Marie was dying, pray for her.  It was not the news I wanted to read as I began my day of showing houses. I cried and was very upset.  I was sad.  I still am sad.  I called Marie's cell phone and heard her voice say, "T ..read more
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My First Colonoscopy
I thought I had the flu...it was CANCER
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4y ago
I've been having some problems with my bowel movements.  So, I went to see a doctor, who told me I wasn't drinking enough water (which is false...I am drinking plenty of fluids).  She also referred me to a Gastroenterologist.  After seeing the specialist,  he recommended a colonoscopy.  I'm under 45 years of age, but I have a family history of colon cancer, my cancer history of APL, my gallbladder removed, and a diagnosis of colitis when I was 18.  If you haven't had a colonoscopy yet, you have nothing to be afraid of.  Let me tell you all about my experience (the following may be graphic): My ..read more
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Further Testing Needed, A Constant Reminder
I thought I had the flu...it was CANCER
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5y ago
Its been a little over 3 weeks since Frank (my dog) passed away. I still have nightmares about it. BD said he saw Frank snuggled up with me when I was sleeping yesterday morning, for a split second, but it was his mind wanting to see that (he says). Last week, I went in for a yearly check-up.  No big deal, pap smear and review mammogram results, etc.  Last year at this time, I was dealing with Shingles, and it was a rough summer, so I remember the timeframes for all my summer checkups now well. My doctor did the pelvic exam and felt something.  She took off her gloves and said she was ordering ..read more
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Getting Over the Loss of a Loved One
I thought I had the flu...it was CANCER
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5y ago
Even though Frank was a dog, he was my dog.  He was part of my life, and the last year and a half, he was a patient nonetheless.  I was his caretaker, and with that, I would structure my day around Frank and his needs.  He needed to relieve himself (go potty) about every two hours (towards the end), take pills at 6 am, 2 pm, before dinner, and 10 pm.  I made his food.  He also became so used to me being at home, that he developed a serious attachment and would cry when I left.  He still needed his "me time", when I would put him up in his favorite rooms so he could lay on the bed and sun himse ..read more
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Over 1 week and still in pain
I thought I had the flu...it was CANCER
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5y ago
Frank died 6/7/19. I'm still in pain. I knew it would be bad, he was my best friend.  He was my patient.  He was my dog. I was his person. Making that decision was hard, but I decided that day it was going to happen.  I still begged the doctor to check to make sure I was making the right decision.  Part of me wanted the vet to say, "He has a few more days in him, don't do it yet."  But, the vet didn't say that.  The vet said it was a good time. I hurt inside.  I feel guilty for not trying to wait it out a bit more.  Frank was the comeback King.  He would be doing bad, and then magically he wou ..read more
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The loss of my best friend
I thought I had the flu...it was CANCER
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5y ago
For those who read and follow this blog, the last 20 months of my life was devoted to taking care of my puggle, Frank. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure October 2017.  He passed away on June 7, 2019. I had to make that decision.  He was getting worse, and we kept giving him more meds to help stabilize the cough, but they weren't working that great. Thursday afternoon I took Frank to see his vet.  The doctor did not respond in his normal fashion when he listened to Frank's heart.  He seemed worried.  He asked me to increase some meds and call on Saturday morning to let him know how ..read more
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