It is estimated that men have a one in two chance of being diagnosed with cancer during their lifetimes; for women, the chance is one in three. Even with those odds, it was never in my life’s plan that I’d be one of those men diagnosed with cancer, especially in what I’d consider to be a relatively young age. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer when I was 57.  I’m now 71. Thankfully, my PSA (prostate-specific antigen) remains undetectable. I expected there'd come a time when I'd give up my cancer survivor status. I thought I'd return to thinking about myself in the same way I th ..read more

I’ve been a prostate cancer survivor for more than ten years. Through social media, and from readers of my books and blogs, I’ve heard first hand, the ways in which coping with prostate cancer has resulted in life long depression, suicide, or divorce.  My three decade marriage was stressed to such an extent we needed professional counseling to save our marriage. In part, because there’s very little information to help men and couples cope with the after effects of prostate surgery. My wife and I decided to wage war on Prostate Cancer.  The first strategy of our war involved PREVENT ..read more

 For more than a decade my identity included surviving cancer. I thought of myself as a Prostate Cancer Survivor. For more than a decade, I’ve experienced multiple reminders, every day, that I’m living without a prostate so that means I’ve had a minimum of 7,300 reminders and that doesn’t include thoughts the cancer could return.  If you add those thoughts in, that means I’ve been reminded about life without a prostate  and/or prostate cancer over 10,000 times in the last decade! For five emotionally painful years I lived with the identity of an “Impotent Man” I HATED th ..read more

 Once again I’m waiting to get a biopsy. Once again it’s a 1-3 week wait to get the results. I believe there’s a natural tendency for us to return and re-experience the trauma of the past, when something similar occurs in the present. So I understand the vulnerability I have to panic, assume the worst, then have the worst come true. I doubt I’ll never forget the call I received on a Sunday when my Urologist said to me: “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have moderately aggressive prostate cancer.” On that day I imagined my future with three words: Excruciating pain  Suffering&n ..read more

I’m a quick fix kind of guy. If there’s a problem, and a known solution, (especially if it involves duct tape or goop) I want the fix to occur and problem solved ASAP. What I’ve learned about knee joint replacement surgery is the “fix” to the problem (surgery) takes under two hours. To heal from the “fix” takes months.  •Worse-there are no short cuts                                     •Worser-neither duct tape or goop is useful.          •Worserest-I’ve lost mobility, access ..read more

I dedicate this blog and this song to my wife who endured four extremely difficult years post prostate cancer surgery. After my surgery, my Surgeon assured us that the sparing of my two nerve bundles meant I’d recover my erectile functioning…..only it didn’t. I discovered that every form of affection served a bitter reminder of what I lost.  So I have up holding hands, physical touching, hugs and kisses. As if avoiding those things would help me forget that I lost my manhood.  It didn’t! Then I unilaterally decided the best thing I could do for my wife was to push her far away u ..read more

 It’s 2022!  What a privilege it is to grow old with my sweet wife.I remember when I subscribed to “youth’s universal illusion of immortality.” In those days, I assumed I had decades of New Year’s Eves to celebrate. Now, I’ve reached an age where I no longer assume I’ll be around to celebrate 2023.   Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Some may think I’ve become morbid.  Not me! I think I’ve finally aligned myself with reality.  One of my go to Bible verses is this:                          Teach us to number ou ..read more

 IF THE LAUGHTER HAS GONE OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP….DANGER WILL ROBINSON! WARNING, WARNING, WARNING! “The couple that doesn’t laugh together has lost a critical healing component to their relationship.” The Bible says: Laughter (or a cheerful heart) is good medicine.    ~Proverbs 17:22~ “If you stop laughing together, your marriage can naturally slide into crisis mode.” Another benefit of laughter in marriage: “Research has found that laughter produces Oxytocin, a chemical in the brain also referred to as the bonding chemical.” https://marriagemissions.com/laugh-marriage-mm-109 ..read more

In many ways for a variety of different reasons, 2020 has been a year of upheaval, disappointment, and sorrow. Socially, we’ve witnessed riots and protests. Politically, we’ve gone through a Presidential election filled with violations of the constitution and much illegality. We’ve seen the Left achieve political victories such as defunding the Police, followed by skyrocketing crime and murder. It seems our Country is about to implode. Personally, we’re facing Covid, lockdowns, economic hardships, social, and relational isolation. Religiously, as Houses of Worship were closed, or severely ..read more

I've lived as a prostate cancer survivor for ten years. During that time I've recognized that cancer took six things away: *The illusion of my mortality. •My future plans •My sense of good health •My financial safety net •My status in the world- I no longer reside in the land of the healthy, I’m a cancer survivor who is reminded with yearly tests the cancer could return. The last thing it took away was by far the worst. After double sparing nerve surgery, I was told I’d get back my erectile abilities. Despite years of penile rehabilitation which went as far as penultimate injections, even th ..read more