Topical jokes as Russia invades Ukraine for reasons that almost nobody can understand.  World Russia response latest – Still buying Russian gas – Sending weapons to Ukraine even though that will make the war go on longer – Russian football team banned from using flag . Decision pending on whether they’re allowed oranges at half-time” Poland will let Ukranians in without id. Priti Patel will send ’em to Russia most likely. I am not saying Putin’s strategy is disastrously insane but so far he has lost billions and gained the world’s most radioactive town. Watching Moonraker again as it seem ..read more

January’s topical jokes as it turns out Boris partied during lockdowns, Keith Starmer issues his ‘contract’ and Covid continues not to be the apocalypse.  Centrism is basically a mental health condition. Who would have thought a lifelong uber privileged libertarian who doesn’t know how many kids he has would not have precisely followed rules he knew didn’t make sense ? To be fair Boris probably thinks an orgy with a wheelbarrow loaf of cocaine is a work event. Mainly because he probably does that kind of thing at work. Hard to get rid of Tories but it is a piece of piss to get rid of Tor ..read more

Topical jokes as Boris Johnson and pals get in trouble for caning cheese and wine during a lockdown Xmas party.  All we need now is news that the Downing Street refurbishment was done to make room for illegal partying. It looks like the Boris loyalists will pass his latest legislation aka Her Majesty’s Opposition. Instead of being angry at people going to an illegal cheese and wine, we should be angry that cheese and wines were ever illegal. I suppose I would cry if I was humiliated on national TV for not going to an illegal cheese and wine . 2023: Boris and co re-enact the last bit of Bu ..read more

Topical jokes as Boris Johnson blathers about kids TV to an audience of financiers, COP26 cops out and we are still scared of a pandemic that we are inoculated against.  COP26 disaster. Suddenly Insulate Britain glueing themselves to roads seems quite a moderate act. Planet’s fucked, billionaires all designing rockets and nobody seems able to join these two big fat dots. The iSage Save Xmas plan involves everyone being frogmarched by gunpoint for boosters on Xmas Eve. We created a police state to fight a disease which the vast majority won’t get sick from , and we deal with an extinction ..read more

Topical jokes as Manchester United are crushed. Saudi Arabia buys Newcastle United, the UK is hit with shortages and Boris is pretending to be an co warrior.  Ole Gunnar Solskjaer says that must never happen again. I assume he means letting Ole Gunnar Solskjaer decide tactics. Manchester United the next team to do a fly on the wall documentary after signing deal with Comedy Central. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer seems to be playing a real life Football Manager challenge where you spend £80m and are still worse than Norwich. Interesting stat. 100% of hate crime committed in Germany between 1939-45 ..read more

Topical jokes as France are enraged by Australia’s new defence plans, Boris wants to bring back imperial measures, Gavin Williamson cannot tell black people apart and Keir Starmer keeps on being terrible.  So which crap team will big Sam Allardicci try to save this season? My bet is Barcelona. Piers Morgan is BACK. By which I mean on a channel designed to generate 15 second videos for Twitter run by an information trafficking mob boss. I know what will make China reduce carbon emissions. Make them believe that an impending nuclear war means climate change is the least of their problems ..read more

August’s topical jokes focus on the withdrawal from Afghanistan and Brexit shortages as well as plans to make Ian Botham a trade envoy.  Saudi Arabia is just the Taliban with better suits. Now extremists can roam free thanks to another disastrous US intervention. But that’s enough about Saudi Arabia. Why do people watch computer games as if it’s live sport ? Paris St Qatar is basically a computer game in human form. James O’Brien cleared over saying the IEA was political and funded by dark money. Takes one to know one I guess. I see Extinction Rebellion predicting apocalypse again with t ..read more

Topical satire including GB News jokes, Jeff Bezos jokes and more, including England’s Euro final defeat against Italy.  Today GB News main story is about the chaos at recently opened news channel GB News. Facebook are killing people by allowing misinformation on their platform which may impact decision of people to vaccinate against 99% survival rate virus. Meanwhile, Joe Biden sells missiles to pretty much anyone. Everyone has left GB News and poor wee Darren Grimes still cannot get a job. Funny to think that if Boris Johnson was not PM, he almost certainly would be on GB News defendin ..read more

Topical jokes as Matt Hancock is caught on camera with his lover, there are by elections galore and some tomato puree causes a major traffic incident.  Bezos will be on space flight. Maybe when Bezos is in orbit, we can quickly move Earth ? If only white people put as much effort into avoiding being racist as they do into avoiding kneeling. Steve Clarke’s pre match teamtalk will mainly be to go through which pre match racism routine they are doing. So Scotland are standing up against racism v Czechs. Kneeling against England.. Dunno about Croatia, maybe the Highland fling ? Irony of Engl ..read more

Topical jokes as Labour lose the Hartlepool by election, Dominic Cummings slates Boris and Israel drops a load of bombs.  Israel’s actions are a bit like if France started bombing Paris suburbs in retaliation for Bataclan. Media buildings bombed. Israel actually trying to blow up the evidence that they are blowing things up. So the Tories demonetised Britain while self monetising the crisis. And got a 15 point poll lead out of it. That is some evil genius shit. Labour to go through long, painful leadership election to replace pedestrian establishment poodle with a pedestrian establishmen ..read more