A while ago I was talking about the way we need to cuz more help and assistance for dissociative children so that they can become list disorders and more functional in adulthood… .. Wow that was a while ago So much has happened since then. I am so overwhelmed I can hardly discuss it right now. Anyway, I was reminded of my goal to research things focused on Dissociative children when I stumbled across this article from the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (i.e. the ISST-D) This is a lovely book designed for Dissociative children that you can purchase on Kindle: htt ..read more

Wow sitting here going through past time written and seeing the changes…. It’s kind of mind blowing. And a little embarrassing. I don’t know what I was thinking about some days Some blogs disturbed me Some blogs made me laugh Some blogs made me cringe Some blogs made me cry Some blogs encouraged me, reassured me, and reinvigorated me. But honestly looking back I’m going to have to wonder why I said and did so many bad choices and was so self abusive. I just wonder who the hell is that person writing that? What piece of information is she missing to have made this conclusion instead of that? Ot ..read more

I started this journey five years ago. I can’t believe it’s been this long… I occasionally find myself and my other selves are ignoring this blog and have fell into a depression a few times, but I work with my system now and we always were able to pull us out of any sadness. Life is full of ups and downs, you know, etc etc. We were struggling to keep a balance between sharing our story to help raise awareness, while doing our part to help with the weekly Tuesday Twitter peer chat (that is “#DIDchat” ) for multiples who are trauma survivors and have DID, and healing our own mental health issues ..read more

Dissociation has taken away a big part of my life. As minutes, hours, days, and years erased by dissociative amnesia… And it was because it was too difficult to handle…and it wasn’t a choice….but now I lost chances I had. This isn’t about having fun or getting attention. This is survival. But the skills we needed in order to survive trauma when we were helpless can become a disorder when you finally are big enough to do something but your brain doesn’t know you are… I HAVE healed and gained more control. But often new trauma occurs in to bring back “old skills.” I don’t give up when I fall bac ..read more

Hi, I’d really appreciate it if you would share or donate to this GoFundMe. https://www.gofundme.com/f/evidence-for-child-abuse-need-private-detective?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=more&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1 ..read more

On the winding path towards integration there are some dusty side roads you may find yourself traveling and investigating… It delays you. Each progression on the path changes you. Each change we felt we needed a “moment of rest.” We stayed in that state of mind, the point of partial integration that we stand in, and see how it felt. Sometimes we stay there for a long while… At this point we sometimes find we are comfortable. We find the changes that have occurred can improve our life situation and we find a new balance. Less complicated with less separate functioning selves. Less emotional dis ..read more

Our integration isn’t so much about “becoming one” as it is about not feeling so separate. Then when you don’t feel so separate, you notice you’re physically “one set” that everyone on the outside world will always see and only see. So you think, wouldn’t it be simpler to have one name for the one body they will always see? Then why do we need to call ourselves any separate names when it’s us all physically one being in this physical realm? See, these are the thoughts that I have when I began integrating. I really don’t know if I have an identity at all right now. I am in shock about so ..read more

TRIGGER WARNING: If you are at risk of being negatively affected when discussion of integration arises, please refrain from reading this for now. However, if you feel you are up to the challenge and have all your coping skills in order, or have a trusted friend near you, or a therapist easily accessible if not present as yo itu read this who can help you in the state of emergency during, then feel free to read on….. . . . I am returning to this blog after a decision to end it. Because I am integrating. And I need to share what I’ve learned if it will in any way help any one change their negati ..read more

I have not been here for a while…. Like here present in my body. I lost control when my dad died. I have dissociative amnesia for the past several months. The “host” controlling this body was another “me” with limited understanding. It wasn’t the “whole complete me.” Well honestly I’ve never been a whole complete me. But this was even less of me. This was another alter, who is known as Jey. Jey began as nothing but a shapeless being of electricity. Jey is the result of me being electrocuted in my childhood. Yes, electrocuted in differing levels of intensity all over my body I remember from ver ..read more