This time last year feels like a dream now. I was in such a different state of mental health. Since I am doing so much better now, it is strange to remember how far I have come. Next month I will be celebrating my two year anniversary of my admission to Rogers Memorial Hospital (the first stay when the journey first began) and I can't believe all that I've gone through. Between seventeen years of severe anxiety, one two and a half month residential treatment stay, nine months of wellness, a relapse, another residential stay (that time for three months), and doing more than I ever thought poss ..read more

The idea of being mentally ill has a very negative connotation to it. I remember being so ashamed of having OCD when I was younger. Only a couple of people outside my family knew and I considered it "my deepest, darkest secret." I think about how I waited a whole year to tell one of my closest friends because I knew she wouldn't understand. I can only laugh at this mentality now because no one will ever truly understand. Only the people that actually have OCD will understand the struggles I have faced. One major struggle that I know a lot of people with OCD face is involving relationships. I u ..read more

The new year has brought new beginnings and new changes. It's funny how OCD makes you believe that you can't do so much. My OCD has always told me that I am not capable of going to school. Whether it was doing homework, getting up early, or having less time because of school, my brain would just keep saying, "You can't do this. You aren't cut out for this." This week was my chance to prove these cognitive distortions wrong. This week I started college. I had been terrified to go back to school. School has always been my greatest fear. I have so many negative memories of having panic attacks ..read more

2016 has been a wild ride for many people. Between the election, the crimes, the deaths, and the triumphs, 2016 will most certainly be a year to remember. My experience with 2016 has been rocky and incredible. I began this year at a critical point in my OCD recovery process and ended the year in the maintenance phase. I believe it has been a truly triumphant ending to a more than hectic year. I remember New Year's Day and how I knew all would be good with my life. I had already been to Rogers Memorial Hospital once and I was never going back. I had the support I needed and even though I wasn ..read more

pleaEducation is the key to everything. Whether it be getting your college defeee or just simply learning about something you find interesting, educating yourself is the first step to a better life. When I was at Rogers this year, my treatment team made a huge effort to educate me and the other patients all about our OCD and coping skills that could help with it. During my time at Rogers' partial OCD hospitalization program in September, I was shown this incredible speech that completely opened my eyes to how debilitating OCD can be for other people. I knew how it affected me at my lowest (wa ..read more

OCD is capable of completely deceiving you. It can make you believe anything. It is the greatest liar known to humankind. The irrational thoughts that go through your head when OCD is taking over seem so real that you will do anything to make them go away even if it makes the disorder worse in the long run. I have been working so hard ever since I got home from the hospital last month to continue to break this viscous cycle of obsessions and compulsions. I have made great strides, but there is always more work to be done when it comes to OCD. I have continued seeing my therapist one day per ..read more

In the three weeks since I have returned home from Rogers Memorial Hospital, I have experienced joy, sadness, frustration, anger, and anxiety. I have experienced these emotions almost exactly like any other normal person would. I can honestly say that going back to Rogers Memorial Hospital on July 7 was a blessing in disguise. Without that second stay in treatment, I wouldn't be here now working, taking a class, doing exposures everyday, living life to its fullest. The transition home was a rocky one. I fear relapsing again so much that it sometimes has the capacity to take over my though ..read more

In honor of OCD Awareness Week, I would like to thank some of the brave souls that helped me get through treatment these past three months. Everyone that I met during my residential and partial hospitalization stays made an impact on me. There are so many people out there struggling with OCD and everyone has different challenges. If our stays overlapped while at Rogers Memorial Hospital, just know that you have helped me change my life for the better. Thank you. The awareness of OCD among the general public is lacking severely. Even though OCD is the fourth most common mental health disord ..read more

There are so many twists and turns in life. That is why making plans is nearly impossible in so many situations. This is a lesson that I am slowly learning and working toward applying to my own life. Over the past two months, I have been in treatment at Rogers Memorial Hospital for the second time and to say there have been unexpected challenges would be an understatement. I was admitted to the adult OCD residential unit on July 7,2016 and I made many gains while there. I can now say that I can put off doing my laundry until night time, go to a different event spontaneously when asked during ..read more

When I was at Rogers last year, relapse was a completely foreign idea to me. I was so naive of the concept that I didn't think it was even possible. I thought that if I worked hard enough, I would feel okay for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, relapse is a part of having a mental health disorder. I thought that that everyone who had relapsed at Rogers just wasn't trying enough. I thought that they had failed quite honestly. It was a horrifying thought that anyone didn't make it through their whole life after treatment happy. I know better now. I now know that relapse is a huge part of the ..read more