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The Matthews Story
by Kyle Matthews
2y ago
Almost since the day Ezra died – over a decade ago – I have been at the helm of a nonprofit focused on changing our story for the next family. As 2022 begins, I will shift from staff to a board role at the Beat Childhood Cancer Foundation. I leave my post as Executive Director on friendly terms, proud of what we have built so far these past 11 years, and glad to continue my involvement through a seat on the board. Our team has grown, and I rest in an assuredness we will continue to make astounding forward motion in our great aim to make sure every family hears “we know how to beat this” when t ..read more
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Melancholy
The Matthews Story
by Kyle Matthews
3y ago
Maybe it’s the pandemic. Maybe it’s Willie Nelson singing “Just Breathe” in my headphones (and hearing Eddie Vedder’s voice in my mind at the same time). But I am feeling melancholic. “A feeling of pensive sadness,” says Google when I type the word into the computer I sit at for hours and hours every day this past year, 30 inches from fresh air. When I copy and paste “pensive” back in for further clarity, I’m shown “involving or reflecting in deep serious thought.” To add to the mood, Spotify queues up “The Weight” by The Band… and now I’m just listing songs in a blog post. I’ve got cabin feve ..read more
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Ten years ago
The Matthews Story
by Kyle Matthews
3y ago
Very early this morning, a decade ago, our oldest son Ezra died. I prefer saying “died” to passed on, or we lost him, or he’s no longer here, or any of the ways we try to soften death. Because Ezra dying was not a muted thing, and it hasn’t been since, and words matter. Half of my recent blog posts are pictures of Ezra and Price’s graves. Almost all of the posts are explorations of “how to be.” I spent my first couple decades learning the world and defining my sweeping ideals and grand ambitions. Time and grief draw my focus to the small places – the trivial moments that add up to a life live ..read more
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Eleven
The Matthews Story
by Kyle Matthews
4y ago
Today would have been Ezra’s 11th birthday. I have been thinking a lot lately, of how we should be. Every night for the past 15+ years, before I fall asleep I think of the things during the day which I liked or loved, and the things I felt uncomfortable with (external or internal). I make mental notes to arrange my life to be able to do more of those things that I liked or loved, and try to understand the areas I felt uncomfortable. Is there something I need to learn? Something I should have done or said, or not done or said? “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice ..read more
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Sleeping
The Matthews Story
by Kyle Matthews
5y ago
you and I, fast asleep in some chair that’s the photos she’d take little ways that she cared and now, sun is warming my back as I sit by your grave watching deer down the path she, she is broken in half we cannot put this back you have been ripped away lioness, I will break with your heart; lie awake in the dark with these pictures of sleeping The post sleeping appeared first on The Matthews Story ..read more
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