Olivia has been extra heavy on my mind lately. She always is this time of year as we get closer to the anniversary of her passing, but this year my grief seems to have kicked up quite a few notches. When I first lost Olivia I put up so many walls to protect myself that I don’t think I really started to grieve her loss in any real way for years. I had so much going on in other parts of my life that I knew if I allowed myself to really feel the loss of my only daughter it would do me in and I wouldn’t be able to be the mom I needed to be for my other children. Fast forward to today and I am the ..read more

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about family, friendships, and how to love the people I care about in the best way possible. There are some people around me who are hurting desperately right now. Some are really sick, while many others are navigating through the tough illness of someone they love. Others are actively or newly grieving, while some are just enduring a really tough, busy, unpredictable season with little people and it’s wearing them thin. As I’ve thought about each of these people I love and how to best love them through these tough times, it’s made me reflect on the times in my ..read more

This picture was taken almost one year ago to the day. Virtual school was officially out for the summer. We had made it through a spring filled with virtual school/homeschool and me working from home full time, so we celebrated with ice cream on the beach and our first camping trip of the summer! It is still one of my favorite memories. However, this memory has become all the more precious to me because on that day, I had no idea how much my life and my health would change just a few short days later. On this perfect summer day, I felt better than I had in a long time. I was less stressed. I ..read more

Today is International Bereaved Mother’s Day. In a million years I never thought I would be a part of this group, but here I sit, nearly 8 years into my bereavement of my own daughter. And my grief is still as real today as it was all those years ago when Olivia took her last breath. You would think that with time, the grief has gotten easier. Or less heavy. But in reality, it never really lifts. It just changes. Sometimes it’s a little bit lighter, but other times it comes in like a wave, and without warning, it knocks me back down like a tidal wave. When Olivia first died I went into shock ..read more

Have you ever been in a place where you are soul crushingly tired? You feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and your soul just feels heavy? That is where I have been lately. There has been so much going on. Between the business of life, challenges with the kids, and other circumstances that are out of my control, it feels like I don’t have much more to try and pour out onto anyone else right now. And this is not a place that I like to be. Grief is heavy. You can’t predict when it will come waving back in to wreak havoc on everyone and everything in its path. I knew that losing Olivia ..read more

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.comSurreal. That is a word I have used often in the last few days. I absolutely cannot believe how drastically life has changed in such a short amount of time! Since last Friday my family has been mostly hunkered down in our home. We realized late last week how serious this pandemic was and knew it was time to be safe and not sorry, especially with Wyatt being a Type 1 Diabetic. Any illness puts him at a greater risk. I would strongly urge everyone to practice social distancing and stay home as much as possible. This is by far the best thing we can do protect on ..read more

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.comThese are dark and frustrating times. People are scared, uncertain, and unsure of how to go forward. All of us are worried about countless things right now that are out of our control…. Will I still have a job when this is over? And if I don’t or have to take a big pay cut… how will I provide for my family? How can I maintain my job and try to homeschool my children?  What will all of this mean for our country and families long-term? When will this virus go away and how many people will it hurt or kill before it does? I am not going to even pretend to have any o ..read more

If you had told me last Monday that our world was going to be nearly shut down just one week later I would have laughed it off. I would have said no way and moved on with my day. But yet today I sit here in disbelief as I navigate trying to understand this completely changed world, running a business from home, homeschooling my children, minimizing my fear, and maintaining my faith. It’s truly amazing how drastically life can change. This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced a life-altering, word-shaking moment in time. The first for me was the day I heard, “your daughter has cancer.” For mo ..read more

Time. There never seems to be quite enough of it. Whether you wish you had a little more time with your kids on the weekend, a few more days to spend on vacation, or even a few more hours before you have to make that big presentation at work; time always seems to be lacking. I’ve been spending some time reflecting lately and I’ve been realizing just how precious time has become to me after losing my daughter. I have always been a quality time person. Giving me your valuable time is the surest way to show me you care. But the loss of my daughter took my love language to a whole other level. Wh ..read more