The End
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
I wish I could tell you a happy ending. An ending to a fairytale, where the beautiful princess finally defeats the terrible monster and lives happily ever after with her prince. I wish her prince could have done more, helped, done something to stop the monster. Instead, he could only stand by quietly, impotent and watch as the monster devoured her. I wish, perhaps selfishly, that the story didn’t end. That the battle continued, even if there was never to be a happy ending. To at least have more years, more months, a few more days, a couple more minutes, the seconds to hear, “I love you” from h ..read more
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Time to be Merry
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
Hiya Everyone! So I figure I owe you all an apology as I haven’t been on my blog like I would have liked. I have been having a rough time the last couple of weeks. It’s been rather difficult as I am beginning to feel more and more like a cancer patient. Literally I have no energy whatsoever and I am not really eating all that much – my appetite is really off. And my stomach is terribly unsettled. When I feel like this, I begin to think that this may be my last Christmas and it terrifies me. I feel as if the cancer is winning. And I can’t have that happen.  I have been feeling much more em ..read more
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Happy Belated Thanksgiving!
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
Sorry guys, I am a little late. But better late than never, right? I just didn’t want to give up the opportunity to wish all of my loyal followers a happy belated thanksgiving. Hopefully you all enjoyed a wonderful weekend with family and delicious food. I certainly did. In the spirit of the season of gratitude, I wanted to point out some of the things that I am grateful for over the last year. I am thankful for my adoring and amazing hubby, I am thankful for my loving and fantastic parents, I am thankful for my brother who always keeps me on my toes, I am thankful for my awesome and kindheart ..read more
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Looking for Li Fraumeni Peeps
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
As many of you know, I have been living with Li Fraumeni Syndrome (LFS). It is a rare genetic cancer disorder that predisposes affected individuals to certain cancers over the course of their lifetime. Many, like myself, will be faced with multiple cancers, some even at the same time. Living with LFS can be frightening and isolating. Since the condition is so rare, it is often difficult to find others who share your story. We are a delightfully unique bunch. I have been bouncing around ideas in that little head of mine to create a LFS group. I would like to hear from individuals with LFS, thei ..read more
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My Romantic Weekend In Emergency
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
So for our second anniversary, Garrett and I planned a trip away for the weekend. Instead, we ended up spending the weekend in emergency. Very romantic. I was tied up to bags of IVs and could barely move, people were screaming and shouting in the hallways and someone would show up to poke me for blood every so often. Yes, very romantic indeed.   How did this craziness come about, you might ask? Well I had a fever the night before of 40.1 and apparently when I went to the clinic Friday morning for my usual treatments, my pulse was too high so the girls suggested I go to my family doctor. I ..read more
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Cancer pain. 
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
Cancer pain manifests itself in various ways. Today I will deal with the physical pain. The Big C is sometimes referred to as painless, in that you may have some nasty tumor growing inside of you and you don’t even know as there is no pain and there are no symptoms. Now while this holds true in many cases, which can be why cancer is so difficult to detect until it is very late in the game, it is not always the case.  Sometimes cancer can be very painful. Typically when cancer metastasizes to the bones it can be excruciatingly painful. Additionally some cancers themselves are so large or t ..read more
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Introducing Wanda
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
When people think about hair loss associated with cancer treatment they think of chemotherapy. People don’t generally make the association between hair loss and radiation treatment. And this assumption is mainly true as radiation treatment to your breasts or leg for example would not cause the hair on your head to fall out. However, it would cause hair loss in the area radiated. And therefore this is why individuals that undergo radiation to the brain will inevitably lose the hair on their head.  I have now lost my hair twice over the course of my life as a result of cancer treatments. At ..read more
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Despite the bad days, there will still be smiles
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
Hello loyal readers! I have missed all of you. I have to confess that the fatigue, the overall weakness and the general anger and irritability have kept me away. I am working on getting myself back in shape, both physically and mentally. Unfortunately cancer and all its nasty side effects do not simply manifest themselves in the physical form, but rather they also wreak havoc on our psyche and mental wellbeing. The gift that just keeps on giving. What I have realized throughout my long and arduous cancer journey spanning 32 years is that sometimes it’s okay to be pissed off and angry at the wo ..read more
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A week of rest, relaxation and murder.
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
Okay, so you are all probably thinking that the brain mets have totally affected my cognitive abilities, but I assure you the title of this blog is correct. The reason I have been away from this blog and all of you for so long is because I haven’t been quite feeling myself and I didn’t want to write blog after blog where I just complain and moan and groan about how unfair life is or how angry I am at the world, or how terrible I have been feeling. Not to mention that most days I  didn’t have the energy to even write a blog. I have experienced an incredible amount of fatigue whereby I coul ..read more
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Did you miss me?
Cancer Girl Smiles | Today I decide to live!
by cancer girl
3y ago
Hiya everyone!  This is just a little update to let you all know that I am still around. So many of you have reached out to me over the last little while, which was extremely touching and inspiring.  I have had many unexpected circumstances arise as I was about 3/4 through my whole brain radiation treatment. Here I thought things were going just peachy, however not so much. Essentially late Thursday night on April 21st, I noticed my writing was terribly messy, but didn’t think too much of it. On Friday my hand felt very weak and I realized I could not write at all. By Sunday I had lo ..read more
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