I’ve decided that instead of changing the URL of my blog, I will instead make a new blog and copy a link here once it’s up and running. So watch this space! Thank you to everyone who has read and/ or commented on this blog over the last 12 years (I can’t believe it’s been so long!) Before I wind things up here, I thought I’d do a brief post on everything that’s happened over the last 3 and half years (since I last blogged regularly). A LOT has happened in that time, but for this post, I’ll aim to focus on the positives (because despite the many challenges, I think it’s good to remind myself th ..read more

It’s been forever but I’m finally working on some blog posts in what very little free time I get these days, after a hiatus of over 3 years. I haven’t written anything outside of work during that time so it’ll take quite a while, but I hope to start posting here again by the end of October. I don’t know if anyone still reads this old blog, but be aware that I’m very likely to change the name and URL of my blog soon. It may also be going in a slightly different direction than you might have expected it to, but I hope you’ll stay. I’ll aim to briefly summarise everything that’s happened in my li ..read more

One thing I have always been aware of – though perhaps even more acutely over the last few years – is how little “social stamina” I have compared to the vast majority of other people. By this I mean energy/ capacity for social interaction. I think it’s partly to do with having social anxiety and also partly to do with being an introvert. I’d say I’m easily in the top 5% of people when it comes to introversion, possibly even the top 1%. Even when I’m well rested, in a good mood, and not massively stressed about anything, I get tired out by social interaction far more quickly than most other peo ..read more

Life isn’t great at the moment and this whiny, self-pitying mega-rant has been building for quite some time now. You have been warned! My mind is all over the place at the moment and I’m having trouble expressing myself so I don’t know if any of this makes sense but here goes… I’ve been meaning to write this for a while but I’m not really functioning outside of working/ shopping for my family right now and I’m struggling to structure my thoughts into any kind of coherent order. I can’t tell if I’m mildly-moderately depressed right now or just reacting normally to both what’s going on in the pr ..read more

Well in typical me fashion, I disappeared off the face of the earth for a bit and it’s now been nearly 6 months since I last posted here. I’m not sure if any of you still read this word vomit, but I am very much in need of somewhere to vent, so here it is anyway! So, other than a global pandemic, what’s happened since I last posted? Well after getting an initial extension for my master’s due to a serious illness, I ended up needing a second extension due to a combination of things including depression. The last year hasn’t been the best and I initially felt terrible about once again being left ..read more

Yes, this is my second rant on here – this time with an added bit of animal behaviour nerdism (read: tangential ethology rant) – in the space of a week. A few things happened yesterday which made me quite angry and I just need somewhere to vent. My dad and his partner came over to visit yesterday. My dog grabbed something out of the bin (as he tries to do about 30 times per day) not long after they arrived so I shouted “No!” and he left it. My dad’s partner then said (talking to my dog rather than to me) that if my dog belonged to him and he went into a cupboard he would “smack your a*** a ..read more

After my recent diagnosis of SAD, I wanted to write a couple of posts on my symptoms and things I’ve found helpful. I hope to help raise awareness of how SAD impacts on daily life, and hope that someone else may find this helpful if they also suffer/ suspect they suffer. Obviously, everyone is different and my experiences don’t speak for everyone, but I hope they’ll give some insight into what it’s like. My Symptoms: Low mood – This kind of goes without saying for any type of depression. I feel fairly miserable much of the time, and on particularly bad days, I cry a lot for absolutely ..read more

Yes, that’s right, it’s time for another brain dump! Also, I’ve finally set up a twitter account for this blog, so feel free to follow. A lot of the people whose blogs I used to follow haven’t been active in years (I really hope they’re doing well) so I need to find myself some new mental health blogs to follow – particularly on social anxiety/ depression/ seasonal affective disorder. SAD and low self-esteem have really been getting the better of me recently. (Two posts on seasonal affective disorder coming soon). When I look back on my life, I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a healthy level of ..read more

Before I launch into this post, I just want to say that I love my mum and despite her probably contributing to my mental health issues in some ways, I truly think she’s done the very best she could have, given the sum of her life experiences, to raise my siblings and I. She’s been through so much in her life – coming from an abusive family, being lied to for around 2 decades by the one person she thought she could trust, and having to try and raise 4 kids mostly on her own – yet she’s still such a nice person. I honestly don’t know how she’s coped with it all as well as she has, especially wit ..read more

Last week I was involved in a road rage incident and, perhaps most surprisingly for this time of year, it wasn’t me who had the anger problem! I’d met my friend for a walk and a chat and was driving to uni to get more of my project work done when another driver forced their way out of a side junction in front of me (I had right of way). I had to brake rapidly to avoid going into the side of their car, so I sounded my horn. About 100 yards further down the road, we stopped in traffic and the other driver got out of his car and walked towards my car. I didn’t act fast enough to lock my car (it w ..read more