On the 5th August 2021, I was signed off sick from work and I want to document why. As some of you may know, I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 17 and I am 25 now. Since then, I have taken and continue to receive medication and counselling. In reality, anxiety, depression, suicide attempts and self-harm have been a part of my life from a very young age and well before my diagnosis. I have never let it stop me from getting to where I want to be, even though there have been many times where I have felt as if I have lost my mind and almost lost myself for good. I feel I ..read more

Suicide. A word that we always hear and think we understand, but in reality someone's relationship with suicide can be a lot more complex than what we would usually understand it to be. First off, for further information on suicide itself and where to get help, please refer back to my post on the topic. As some of us may know, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45. That's a higher statistic than heart attacks and cancer. If that statistic doesn't sink in then you best read it again...that man is your Dad, your husband, brother, son...you. Of course, suicide isn't solely some ..read more

When things are clear, it's easy, But it rarely has been. Energy is drained and I'd rather be numb, Then feel a range of emotions where happiness might exist. I'm meant to miss in all ways, Some ways, No ways, And I do, But I am never fixated. I can't make sense of myself when I live in it, It might be the end when I know.  Do I do it now? Pain and fragility exists here, And the mind has all of the possibilities that may not be true And if the inside was known, I might be held even if I was the sun ..read more

Lockdown is a phrase we have all become accustomed to, but one which I never thought I would become acquainted with.  At the moment of writing this I am in the midst of a 14 day isolation period where I am unable to step outside of the boundaries of my home. It just so happens that my home consists of a bedroom at this stage in my life. I must admit prior to this, the thought of being in isolation was one which I thought I wouldn't be able to cope with. A life without physical contact, fresh air and freedom...But the brain is a magnificent organ that can either make or break you. It's no ..read more

Last month I turned 25...yikes! I think I've finally started to feel like I am stepping into the shoes of an adult rather than a child or a teenager and as a result I'm going to share with you some of what I have learnt over my years on this planet: 1. You have the same right to be on this planet as anyone else. 2. Always be yourself. 3. Don't let other people treat you like shit. 4. Anything can happen at any given time, anything. 5. Life rarely happens like you plan it out to be. 6. Your journey is not to be compared to others. It is not a competition. 7. We all have different s ..read more

Animals, they are always that I gravitate towards during my down days. They bring a sense of calm and an overwhelming sense of happiness.  Lil' Wellness Farm uses the idea of animals to help children and teens through their mental health struggles, by using them to assist with their therapy. If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you will know that first and foremost, therapy is something which I have put as my number one recommendation. Therapy is what can help you get to the route causes of your mental illness and struggles, to help and rewire your brain. For children, therap ..read more

Breaking out into a rage and planning to disappear. Thinking of banging your head against a wall and yet feeling numb in the present...It's back.  You're overwhelmed and struggling to cope. The only way to survive is to sleep, drink or to not survive at all. Extremely dark and depressive thoughts rule your head and there is no 'get out of jail free' card. It is your life and it is your being. You can become a danger to yourself and yet no one around you knows what to do or understands the depth and peril of being overwhelmed by your own mental health. Being overwhelmed is ..read more

Believe it or not, we all can still find ourselves acting from a primitive side of our brain during most situations in our lives. When a car pulls out on us, we usually react in anger rather than thinking why the other person acted in such a way. This is known as a primitive reaction. Perhaps that person was late for an interview or had a medical emergency? That's not to say that their actions were correct, it's just a intellectual thought pattern that will change our unhelpful reaction at the time and one that we rarely consider. I feel teenagers, my teenage self included, are a prime e ..read more

The other day I was posed with a statement: 'You're twenty-four now, shouldn't you think about settling down?'. It stumped me for a little bit because even though I know my answer, if you look all over social media there are people my age whom are engaged and are getting mortgages, perhaps because they're happy or perhaps because it's what society and instagram shows is what makes you happy and this can be an extreme influence on our daily lives. I think we all seem to fall into this trap of what is meant to be good rather than taking the time of looking into ourselves and thinking about what ..read more

Change is happening all around us, all of the time. It is happening to ourselves every single day, even if we are not purposefully forging forward with it.  I have experienced more change in myself over these past two years than I have in the majority of my life. I'm twenty-four now, moving towards twenty-five and the last time I felt that I had to make as many life-changing decisions as I have, I was sixteen. During that time I was stripped back to my bare bones and had to build my life up from scratch. This is something I've not necessarily had to do again over these past two ..read more