5 Things To Remember Before Getting Sucked Into Family Drama
f*ck feelings
by fxckfeelings
1y ago
When close family members are fighting, it’s natural to want to step in and make it stop. After all, you care about these people and don’t want to see them hurt or have them angry at you. But, as we always say, unless you’re a drill sergeant, judge or magician, making people do things isn’t an option. So before you try to get between to warring parties, even if you love/are related to them, here are five things to remind yourself of before getting sucked into family drama. 1)Examine The Previous Effect of Expressing Your Feelings  While speaking your piece has probably given you relief in ..read more
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Mayhem In The Middle
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
Just as it is with Oreos and interneting, selflessness is best enjoyed in moderation. Too little, and you’re mean, selfish and approaching asshole territory; too much and you’re mean, guilty, and in need of a shrink. That’s because trying to help people, especially the ones you love is often impossible. It can drain you, open you to exploitation, and make you angry, which then makes you feel guilty and like you need to be even nicer, and on it goes down the toilet. It’s worth examining ways of helping those you love, but only if you can find a middle ground; your goal isn’t to solve their prob ..read more
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5 Ways To Get Over Bitterness
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
If, like your reader from earlier, you’re trying to stay positive about finding someone worthwhile after finding yourself with a string of assholes, moving forward can be tricky. Instead of trying to let go of the past, use it; mine it for lessons that can keep you from repeating your mistakes and becoming even more discouraged. So if you don’t want to let your bad experiences keep you from having the will to find something good, here are five ways of overcoming bitterness in relationships. 1) Forget Feelings of Betrayal  Having good times together, making promises of fidelity, and getti ..read more
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The Ladies’ Bitter Club
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
Since loneliness and a string of bad relationships can make you feel like a loser, it’s not surprising that most people assume finding someone new is the path to victory. And if you could order a perfect new partner through an app with free delivery, that would be fine. Instead, the search for someone new mostly requires luck—also not available to order—so making a good relationship your goal just makes you unfairly responsible for achieving the uncontrollable while pushing you to make bad compromises to avoid loserdom/loneliness. Instead, remind yourself that you’re never a loser if you do yo ..read more
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5 Ways To Tell Whether A Flawed Relationship Is Worth Keeping
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
Too often, when it comes to choosing whether to be, stay, or break-up with someone, we let our hearts be our guides. But when it comes to a committed partnership, feelings are a false guide; there’s no way to share a house, family, life, savings account, and/or bathroom with someone for eternity and not feel some sort of bad a lot of the time. So, if like our reader from earlier, you can’t decide whether you can put up with your partner anymore, here are five ways to tell whether a flawed relationship is worth keeping. 1)Ask Yourself If You Were Better Off Before Remember what your life was li ..read more
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Relationshift
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
A conflict-free relationship that hasn’t gone through hard times is like a rare, expensive sports car; just having it and occasionally driving it around the block makes you feel good and special, but if you suddenly need it for regular use it becomes a tiresome burden. So if you’re in a feel-good, low-stress relationship that suddenly becomes somewhat feel-bad, it’s up to you to decide whether what you have is worth working on and keeping, flaws and all, or whether it’s time to let it go and find something more along the lines of a human minivan.  – Dr. Lastname My partner of some years h ..read more
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5 Ways To Assess Whether You Can and Should Leave Your Shitty Job
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
The only thing worse than getting stuck working for decades in a field or job we hate is getting stuck in unemployment, poverty, and having to use take-out containers as toilets. So, if like our reader from earlier, you’re unsure about whether it’s worth trying to find new work, here are five ways to assess whether you can and should leave your shitty job. 1)Define What Makes Work Worth It Become your own reverse HR department and make a list of the important things you need for a potential job; a certain amount of money is obviously important, but you may also require anything from a time-lim ..read more
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Professional Irritations
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
Loving your work is nice when it happens, but when it comes to professional labor, the intended fulfillment is financial, not spiritual, or emotional; if it were always fun, worthy, and challenge-free, they wouldn’t call it work. There are a lot more important things than loving your work, like feeding your family and keeping the lights on. So if you really hate your job and want to leave, think hard about what you hate exactly and how/whether it could truly be better elsewhere. It’s all-too-normal to hate your job, but before you leave make sure it’s the job you hate and not work in general ..read more
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5 Ways To Find a Goal To Feel Better
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
When you feel like crap, an obvious goal is to feel like not-crap, but just because it’s obvious doesn’t mean it’s simple. If, like our reader from earlier, you need a better goal than “feeling better,” here are five ways to find that goal. 1) Focus On Action Over Emotions Since “feeling good” is often out of your control—the determination to have a good day is no match for rainclouds, incontinent birds, and/or current events—focus instead on what it takes to make you feel like a good person. Define for yourself the actions that define good person-hood, e.g., being a good friend, supporting y ..read more
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The Not-So-Great Depression
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by fxckfeelings
1y ago
The Declaration of Independence guarantees all American citizens the right to pursue happiness, and sure, that’s the dream, but if you’ve ever watched auditions for TV talent competitions then you know not everyone pursuing their dream can or should ever get it. So if you’re unhappy, feeling sorry for yourself is unavoidable, but blaming yourself isn’t allowed; no matter who you are or where you’re from, feelings are not something you can control. As we always say, feeling bad shouldn’t prevent you from trying to be a good person, which—no offense, founders—is the pursuit that really matters ..read more
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