A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.” He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?” Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown ..read more

A teacher explained biology to her 3rd-grade students. She said, “Human beings are the only animals that stutter.” A little girl raised her hand saying, “I had a kitty-cat that stuttered.” The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. “Well,” she began, “I was in the backyard with my kitty when the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!” The teacher exclaimed, “That must’ve been scary.” The little girl said, “It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went Ss ..read more

One day, 50 politicians were flying across the country in an airplane when the plane started to experience mechanical problems. The plane crashed in a remote rural area. It took an hour for the first police car to arrive at the scene. There was an old farmer was sitting on his tractor beside the wreckage. The police man got out of his car and looked inside the smashed fuselage. To his surprise, it was completely empty. He asked the farmer, “Where are all of the politicians who were on the plane?” The farmer replied, “I dug a big hole with my tractor and buried them.” The police man asked, “How ..read more

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.” “No problem,” the tired Marine assured him. “I’ll take it.” The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “How’d you sleep?” Aske ..read more

Two Jewish women are walking down the street, and pass a Catholic church with a sign that says: “$200 to convert!” They discuss it and one of them decides, why not? She could use the money. She goes into the Catholic church, is in there for a while, and finally comes out: “I converted!” Her friend says, “Did you get the $200?” “Is that all you people think about?” “”””” Messianic Dating at MessianicMatchmaker.com to meet Messianic Jewish women and men ..read more

A man applies for a government job A guy goes into the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee. ”Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?” “Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.” The interviewer says, “That will give you extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The man says “yes, a bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles” The interviewer is shocked, but assures the man that his disability qualifies him for extra points. “You got ..read more

3 army generals bet who has the bravest soldiers. The first general calls one of his men and commands him: “You see that tall flag pole? Climb to the top of it and jump down.” The soldier is hesitant at first, but then begins to climb the pole. When he reaches the top, he jumps… but breaks a leg. The other two generals salute the man for his bravery. The second general calls a soldier and tells him: “See that flag pole? Climb it and do a front-flip onto the ground. The man climbs the pole and performs a flip, as the general wished. Unfortunately, upon impact, the soldier tragically breaks his ..read more

A German is on vacation in America. While driving he accidentally crashes into the car of an American. The American gets out, walks to the German and yells: “Are you blind or something? Can‘t you see where you‘re going?“ The Germans replies: “Calm down my friend. Let‘s have a quick drink to calm the nerves“ He grabs a bottle of schnapps and hands it to the American. The American takes a sip and hands it back. The German then puts the bottle back in his car. “Aren’t you gonna drink?“ asks the American. “No“ said the German. “I‘m waiting for the police to arrive“ “”””” Loco Domains has .com doma ..read more

Guy driving along the highway at 70mph, sees a chicken running along side keeping up. Crazy enough the chicken has three legs! Punches it to 80, chicken stays with it then cuts off down a country road. Guy follows it into the driveway of a farm, sees the farmer. “Did you see a three legged chicken speed in here”? “Yeah that’s mine. I breed them that way because me, my wife, and my son all like drumsticks” the farm tells the driver. “Wow that’s amazing how do they taste?” the guy asks. “Dunno” said the farmer “never caught one before”. “”””” Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99 ..read more

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his ta ..read more