Today I want to talk about a subject that is rarely mentioned, and that is the subject of being overly self-absorbed, detailing the effect, it can have on your mental health and other negative consequences. If there was one thing that helped my mental well-being and sense of freedom more than anything else, it was ending this destructive habit. What does it mean to be self-absorbed? If you spend most of your day obsessing over your mental and emotional state or continually worrying about how others are perceiving you, then you are overly self-absorbed. Negative Effects of Being Self-Absorbed ..read more

Forget chasing happiness and fulfilment through material things or outside validation and invest in the most important thing in your life, your mental health. So many people believe the secret to happiness is on the outside when in fact it is on the inside. You can move home, gain promotions at work, win the lottery, buy as many material things as you wish and jump from one relationship to another but without good mental health, you will never find the peace and happiness you are looking for. Symptoms of poor mental health Relationships and friendships full of conflict Feelings of worthlessn ..read more

I recently received the following question below from someone who felt detached from their surroundings when communicating with others. As this is something I also went through, I thought I would address this issue. ‘A lot of the time when I am in a social situation my mind goes blank, I feel disconnected from reality and the conversation itself. This either leads me to say barely anything at all or I end up just rambling as I try to cover up my discomfort.  This is having such a negative impact on my life, I just want to know why this is happening and what can I do to overcome it?’ Th ..read more

Throughout my years of suffering, I was like most people and reached out to others to help me overcome my anxiety and fear. I read books, talked with professionals, wasted numerous amounts of money on different approaches and techniques, and yet I was no nearer gaining my freedom, in fact, I would say I was getting worse. It was at this point I decided to ditch all conventional help and find my own answers. This journey was a long road of success and failure, one though that ultimately led me to being free and finally able to discover my former self. Although there were many factors to me fin ..read more

Throughout my years of suffering, I was like most people and reached out to others to help me overcome my anxiety and fear. I read books, talked with professionals, wasted numerous amounts of money on different approaches and techniques, and yet I was no nearer gaining my freedom, in fact, I would say I was getting worse. It was at this point I decided to ditch all conventional help and find my own answers. This journey was a long road of success and failure, one though that ultimately led me to being free and finally able to discover my former self. Although there were many factors to me fin ..read more

Over the years, I have had many say to me ‘I can’t stop obsessing about anxiety and the way I feel’. They desperately want to, but say that no matter how hard they try, the subject dominates their day. The only way to stop thinking about anxiety is to take a break from the subject, to no longer obsess about it, no longer try and solve it or build your day around it, to let the subject go and get on with living your life. This starves it of focus and energy, and so the subject dies its own death. This then allows new things to come in and the subject no longer dominates your thoughts. The iron ..read more

The self-help market is currently a billion-pound industry. There are thousands of new books, courses and retreats churned out every year and yet little seems to change for the majority of people. Does this mean that it is all a scam or is there real value in this ever-growing industry? I wanted to write this post because so many people have spoken about wanting to get off the whole self-improvement cycle and just go back to living their life. They are tired of trying to get somewhere and tired of trying to manage, improve, or fix themselves. Unfortunately, many admit to being self-improvemen ..read more

A lady recently got in touch with me asking for advice as she was becoming increasingly anxious due to an up and coming course she would have to attend through work – one where she would have to meet and speak in front of a room full of strangers. She commented on how much the advice helped her and so I thought I would share it here with her permission. Her initial email is below. So, as I mentioned to you earlier, Paul, I feel really worried and flat today. I am worried about some up and coming courses I have to go on for work — ones where I have to interact with others and do a presentatio ..read more

It was through my own struggles with anxiety that my mental health also started to decline. As time progressed, I began to feel very down. I was constantly irritable, unable to think clearly, had little mental energy and struggled to find any interest or motivation in anything. Even simple tasks like tidying the house or cooking a meal seemed like an enormous effort. Initially, I thought anxiety was to blame for all these new symptoms I was encountering, and so again, I set out to defeat them. It took me a long time to realise that anxiety wasn’t to blame here at all and these were just the ..read more

Why is life making me suffer? I used to ask myself this very question, as I always seemed to be in some form of suffering. Yes, I would have some good days along the way, but I spent most of my time unhappy and always seemed to be worrying about something or other. Life just always seemed to be against me and wouldn’t fall into my ideal; nothing seemed to go right, and people didn’t act in the way I wanted or say what I thought they should say. I was always searching for what was missing while thinking the outside could give it to me and so that’s where I looked. I thought, ‘I just need that ..read more